Tangled Youth

Chapter 31

Boone awoke early the next morning after a not-so pleasant sleep on his new dorm room mattress, which was both too hard and too soft at the same time. But this was a minor adjustment to get used to compared to the fact that he was now living with a bunch of people he barely knew, was in a city he had no idea how to get around, and attending a whole new school.

He was the first one awake, luckily, so he took the chance to monopolize the shower before any of his roommates got there. The moment he looked at the shower, he was extremely glad that he had remembered to bring flip flops. The lock on the bathroom refused to lock, so he just shut it very tightly and prayed that no one would come in. After taking a hasty shower, he put on a t-shirt and jeans.

Lilly greeted him when he stepped outside of the bathroom, clad in a long gray bathrobe and pajamas. “Hey,” she smiled, as if she had known him her whole life. “Coffee?” She offered him a cup of steaming coffee in a blue mug. “My parents got me a coffee machine as my going away present.” Boone took a tentative sip of the coffee, and tried to smile, although it was the most vile tasting, bitter coffee he had ever tasted.

“It’s…” he tried, but he knew his expression was close to a grimace. “It’s good.” Suddenly his voice sounded like that of a 10 year old boy. A few moments later, Ted emerged from his bedroom, wearing boxers, and his hair messily covering his eyes, and accepted the coffee that Lilly offered him as well.

“Holy shit, this is terrible,” he said frankly.

But Lilly wasn’t insulted. “Are you one of those people who never wash or brush their hair because they think it’s a homage to their inner suffering?”

“What’s this about inner suffering?” Ben had emerged to hear the tail end of Lilly’s remark. “I think it’s called before 8 AM on a Monday.” Boone chuckled.

“So whose ready for the cafeteria?” Ben asked. “Everyone got your food cards ready?”

“Yeah,” Boone agreed, but then remembered something. “Wait… did that new girl come in last night?”

“Oh, yeah,” Ben wondered. “I wonder where she is.”

“Oh, she showed up last night, I think she’ still asleep,” Lilly said nonchalantly.

“Wait… she’s staying in your room with you and you haven’t spoken to her yet?” Boone raised his eyebrows.

“She came in at like 3 AM, and I was like half asleep, and I wasn’t going to wake her up.”

“Well if we don’t, she’s going to miss orientation,” Boone said, concerned.

“Why don’t you just go wake he up, then?” Ted said coolly. “I’m going to head over to the cafeteria.”

“I’m not quite ready yet, actually,” Lilly said. “So I guess you can go ahead.”

“I’m gonna stay here a little while, too,” Ben agreed. So Ted left the dorm room alone.

Boone cautiously made his way towards the door to Rebecca and Lilly’s bedroom. “What did you say her name was again?” He asked.

“Rebecca,” Lilly replied, making her way towards the bathroom.

Boone knocked on the door twice, and waited. No answer. “Rebecca?” He said. “Rebecca?”

“Hold on a second!” Answered a muffled voice. About thirty seconds later, a girl wearing jeans and a plain sweater opened the door. She had glasses, frizzy blondish hair, and wasn’t wearing any makeup. “Hi,” she said meekly.

“Hi, I’m Boone.” He held out his hand to shake her hand, and tried not to judge her by her appearance.

“I’m Becky,” she replied nervously. That was when Boone remembered how his looks sometimes intimidated people.

“Sorry to wake you up, but I was afraid you would miss orientation, which starts in less than an hour.”

“Oh, thank you. I must have forgotten to set my alarm, I didn’t get in until 3 AM.”

“You’re welcome. So…”

“So,” she squeaked. “I guess I’d better finish getting ready.”

“Okay,” he smiled. Becky gaped at him. “See you.”

“Yeah, see you,” she said.

“Boone!” Lilly yelled from the bathroom. “Would you get your razor off of the damn counter?” Ah, the joys of college dorm life, Boone thought.

When he got out of the auditorium later, he went back to the dorm and checked his messages on his cell phone, noticing that he had one missed call from Shannon. He called her back, anticipating hearing her voice. His decision to stop being in love with her had definitely been futile, as he had already completely forgotten about it. “Hey, Shan,” he said warmly. “What’s up?”

“Boone!” She exclaimed. “Hey! How’s college life?”

He tried not to overanalyze the fact that she was excited to talk to him. “Pretty good, thanks. It’s overwhelming, though. I have no idea what classes to take.”

“How are your roommates?” She didn’t want to talk about academic plans.

“They’re pretty good. There’s this one guy, Ben, who’s really cool – “

“Is he hot?” Shannon interrupted.

“Shannon!” He reprimanded. “And then there’s this girl named Lilly who’s really snarky like you – “

“Answer me, is Ben hot?”

“I don’t know! And then there’s this other guy named Ted, who is… well, I don’t really think we exactly complement each other.”

“You hate him,” she interrupted him yet again.

“I don’t really know him enough to hate him, Shan.”

“You know I love it when you call me that,” he could hear the smile in her voice.

“Um, thanks?” He tried to be nonchalant.

“No one else calls me that, but you always shorten everyone’s names. It’s sweet.”

“Thanks.”

“I miss you,” she said weakly.

“I know Shan, me too. You should come visit soon.”

“Yeah, maybe during Thanksgiving break. But I want to see you now, you know?”

“Yes,” he replied shortly. He was clenching onto the receiver of the phone, wishing that the plastic of the phone would somehow turn into her.

“I can’t like, touch you over the phone. I can’t look at you.”

“It sucks,” he answered. There was a pause.

“I love you,” she finally said. “Oh, wait, hold on, Sabrina wants to talk to you.”

“Okay,” he replied, worried about what his mom had to say.

“Boone!” His mom said harshly as soon as he answered. “Don’t sign up for classes until you’ve approved them with me!”

“Oh, thanks, I’m good. How are you?” He asked smugly.

“Very funny, Boone. Now seriously, what classes are you considering?”

“I dunno, I was thinking like calculus and some science class and some English or Humanities class.”

“That’s very vague, Boone. Any further ideas?” She asked coolly.

“Well, I’ll just take Freshman English, and Calculus II, and…”

“I think you should take a business class,” she interrupted.

“Mom,” he argued.

“Look Boone, who’s paying your bills? I want you to sign up for a business class, alright?”

“Fine,” he agreed.

“So, what else?”

“Look Mom,” he said, frustrated. “I am eighteen years old, I think I can figure it out by myself!”

“Boone, I’m only trying to help you find what’s in your best interest.”

“Oh, since when have you cared about what’s in my best interest? You didn’t even ask me how I was, how I’m settling in, nothing like that, you just want me to take classes that’ll look good.” He knew he was being nasty, but she had provoked him.

“I have work to do.” She ignored all of his accusations. “Goodbye.”

“Um, bye?” He hung up, confused. But he didn’t have time to think about what Sabrina had said, because just then, Ben, Ted, and Lilly appeared in the room, whispering and talking to each other in hushed voices.

“Hey, California Boy!” Lilly exclaimed. “We just picked up some pizza, hope you like Pepperoni,” she approached him, holding two boxes of pizza.

“Look at what we scored,” Ben held up a bottle of Jack Daniel’s. Boone gaped.

“How’d you… we… what?” He tried to create an intelligible sentence.

“We decided to play some getting to know you games,” Ted smirked.

“Wow, okay,” Boone smiled. This was going to be fun. “Where’s Becky?”

“Oh, we already asked her, she didn’t wanna play,” Ben shrugged.

“Really?” He wasn’t surprised, but he was a little disappointed, because Becky seemed lonely. “Come on, we should convince her to.”

“I’ll go ask her again…” Lilly said, and disappeared into her room.

“So, what kinds of getting to know you games did you have in mind?” Boone wondered.

“I Never, Truth or Dare, that kind of thing?” Ben answered.

Just then, Lilly appeared. “Well, I got her to come play. Come on boys, let’s sit.” She sat down near the couch, on the floor, and Becky cautiously sat next to her. Boone didn’t know what had been on this floor, but no one else seemed to care, so he sat down as well.

Soon, they were lounging around on the floor, eating pizza on paper towels. Ben was reclined against the front of the couch, Ted against the wall. Lilly was sitting cross-legged in between Boone and Ben, her weight shifted towards Ben. Becky was sitting on the couch uncomfortably, looking like a dear caught in headlights. “So, whose gonna start?” Boone asked.

“I will,” Ben said. “I’ll start with something boring. Um, I’ve never been to Australia.” Boone reached over towards the bottle, opened it, and filled his cup, taking a small sip.

“I went last summer with my family,” he explained. “Uh, do I go next?”

“Yeah,” Lilly said.

“Okay. I’ve never… I’ve never smoked pot.” Ted quickly downed his cup, as did Ben, and even Lilly took a tentative sip. “Wow, you guys are all druggies,” he joked.

“No, you’re just a goody-goody,” said Ted. “Can I go next? I’ve never kissed a guy.”

Lilly drank, and they all looked over at Becky expectantly. She squinted, lifted the cup to her lips, and quickly pulled it away. “You didn’t even drink!” Lilly accused.

“Yeah I did,” Becky said meekly. “I guess I’ll go now. I’ve never… you know… I’ve never…”

“She’s never fucked someone,” Ted finished. They all drank, except Becky. “I think we’re gonna need explanations for this one.”

“Oh, stories!” Lilly squealed. “Um, it was last summer, actually, I had this boyfriend named Dan, and he was nice and stuff, but then we broke up.”

Ted yawned exaggeratedly. “Boo-ring,” he said. “I was sixteen, and it was this really hot girl, and I lied about my age – I think she might have been like twenty-something.” Boone grimaced. “Oh shut up, California. What’s your story?”

“Her name was Anna – “

“She hot?” Ted interrupted.

“Extremely,” Boone answered, lackluster. “Kind of annoying though. All loud and clingy.”

“Well was she good in the sack?” Ted was just the king of classiness, wasn’t he?

“Yeah, I guess. She was my sister’s best friend.”

“That’s awkward. Is your sister hot?” Ted asked, interested.

“Yeah,” he blurted out. “I mean, sure, I guess,” he tried to retract his previous enthusiasm.

“Ew, you think your sister’s hot,” Lilly laughed. “Boys will be boys.”

“My turn,” Ben interrupted. “Okay, I’ve never gotten a blowjob.” Boone drank appreciatively, remembering the time when Anna had gotten a little overzealous. Ted also drank.

“What if you’ve given one?” Lilly asked, but didn’t wait for a response, just drank anyway.

“Can we play something else?” Becky complained.

“You know, I think I like Truth or Dare better, too” Boone said, defending her. “Can we do that instead?”

“I guess,” Ted shrugged. Becky looked relieved. “But then how are we gonna drink?”

“I’m sure we’ll find a way,” Lilly said, and took a sip of her drink, peeling off her second cup. “Mm, I’m starting to feel it.” She refilled her glass.

“Let’s play it so that we all have to answer it,” Ben suggested.

“Okay,” they agreed. Lilly finished her third shot, and giggled, inching closer to Boone. “Lilly, you may want to slow down with that,” he warned.

“I think you should hurry up with yours, Boone,” she smiled. He finished his and filled another. “Becky, my question is just for girls. Who do you think is the hottest guy in here?”

“Oh, this is embarrassing,” she laughed uneasily. “Do I have to – “

“Just spit it out,” Lilly told her.

“Well, okay, I guess Boone.”

“Way to be predictable,” Ted scoffed.

“Hey, Boone can’t help being sexy, can he?” Lilly said. “You’re so gorgeous Boone, you know that right?”

“Um,” he took a sip of his drink in response.

“Hey, Lil?” Ben said. He was currently lying on the floor on his back.

“Yeah?” She didn’t even notice the nickname that she had been christened.

“Wanna make out?” Ben asked

“Yeaaaah, okay,” she giggled, and placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek.

Ben sat up and wiped the slobber off of his face. “Gross, maybe we should hold off,” he muttered.

“You can make out with me, Lilly,” Ted said. He was the only one still sitting up.

“Alright,” she crawled towards him, and sat in his lap, and turned around and kissed him, full-on.

“God, get a room,” Boone blurted out. “Ewwwww.”

“Yeah, get away from me, slut,” Ted joked, pushing her away.

“Boone!” She exclaimed, leaning against the couch.

“What?” He responded.

“Defend me, he called me a slut!”

“You are a slut,” he said lazily. This resulted in him being slapped. “Okay, okay, you’re not a slut.”

“I’ve got a question,” Ben interrupted. “What’s the grossest thing you’ve ever done?”

Ted laughed. “I don’t think you want to know.”

“Yeah, we do,” Lilly exclaimed, practically vibrating with excitement. “We do, we do, we do!” Then, splat, she fell on the floor. “Ow, shit.”

“Girl, you can not hold your liquor,” Ben laughed at her.

“Shut up,” she pouted.

“Okay, once I got really drunk, and I was… um…” Ted hesitated. “You know, I was… jerking off, and then I…” Lilly grimaced. Boone wondered in fear how this statement would end. “I puked and I came at the same time.”

“Shit, man, that’s sick!” Ben yelled.

“Seriously, that’s twisted,” Boone tried to laugh, but was too grossed out. Lilly was speechless for once, her mouth wide open in shock.

“Well, what’s yours?” Ted was unfazed.

“Uh,” Boone answered, sounding stupid. “Once my sister gave me a hand job.” Ben choked. Lilly’s eyes widened even more. She had yet to recover from what Ted had said.

“Like, on purpose?” She squeaked.

“Wait, that’s cheating,” Ted said over her. “That’s not something you did.”

“Actually, it kind of is. Because I was feeling her up at the same time.” He was seriously drunk, otherwise he wouldn’t be telling them this.

“Dude!” Ben cried. “What’s the matter with you?”

“Wait, you were feeling her up at the same time as she gave you a hand job? Woah, you must have excellent concentration skills,” Ted sounded impressed.

“What’s wrong with you?” Ben repeated.

“We were pretty wasted. So, Lilly, what’s your dirty dark secret?” He turned the attention to her. Lilly looked at him, looking woozy, and suddenly threw up. “Oh shit,” he swore, and picked her up, dragging her towards the bathroom. She knelt down in front of the toilet, and he held her hair back for her. He turned away, not wanting to watch her.

“I wannnt my mommmmm,” she cried, turning to him when she was done.

“Um,” he said uncomfortably. Luckily, just then, Ben appeared in the doorway.

“Do you want me to take over?” He asked, and Boone agreed appreciatively. He stood up, and started making his way back to the living room. He could hear Ben telling Lilly, “It’s okay sweetie, just calm down. You’re just a little drunk. Sssssh.” Suddenly, he felt a gnawing pain in his stomach, realizing how much he missed Shannon.

He went back to the living room, and tried to clean up the throw up as well as he could (Ted had coincidentally went to sleep), thinking about the time when he had walked in on Shannon throwing up in the bathroom, but for an entirely different reason. When he got back to his room, he called her on her cell phone, knowing it would be off, because it was the middle of the night where she was.

“Hey, you’ve reached Shannon’s voicemail…” said her answering machine message. The sound of her voice made him feel more at home, and lulled him to sleep.

When they finally let temptation take over, nothing could hold them back. It was hot, unbridled, and sweaty. Her skin was electric against him, sending shocks of electricity through his body each time she touched him. They had fallen onto the bed after only moments of kissing, needing to fill the space between them. He needed to make sure that she was real, not just the ghost of her that had plagued his dreams for so many years.

So clothes were quickly shed, and all logical thoughts banished from his mind. He knew it was wrong, and he would have to deal with the repercussions later, but now he just wanted her. He wanted her with a mind-blowing tenacity that wasn’t even worth trying to hide. So he pulled her against him, over and over again, skin touching skin, moans ringing into the silent room, feet tangled together at the end of the bed. Soon it was nothing more than primal instinct – they lost count of how many times, lost track of what time it was. But then, faces flushed and hot, their bodies gave out, and they fell asleep up against each other, limp but never sated.

When they finally let temptation take over, it wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

Tangled Youth

Chapter 30

Boone was surprised how quickly the five hour plane ride to New York passed. Throughout the entire trip, his mind swam with thoughts, about what was to come in his life, and what had already occurred in his life. By the time he got off, he was gnawed with a feeling other than anticipation—he realized that he already missed Shannon.

But he couldn’t let thoughts of his sister plague him for long, because there were other more important things to think about. First of all, he was in a city that he had merely vacationed in before, that now was the place he was going to call home. After he collected his bags at baggage claim, he went outside of the gigantic JFK airport, and scanned the strip of parking lot for a vacant taxi. He finally found a cab, where a surly older man greeted him with a brusque, “Where to?” But Boone would have to get used to the way New Yorkers spoke, as it was his new home.

Boone was well-aware that he would be spending the next four years here, but the thought still hadn’t quite processed into his brain. A part of his brain knew that he was here to stay, but another part was already planning what he would do when he got home. He suspected that this new place would feel more real once he settled into his dorm, met some new people in the same situation as himself, and was bombarded with loads of school work.

“NYU,” Boone said, his voice foreign and far away.

“You a student?” The cab driver asked gruffly.

“Yeah,” Boone answered. He wasn’t a rich little LA boy anymore, now he would have to adopt the new title of college student. “I’m a freshman. Orientation is tomorrow.”

“I see,” said the driver uninterestedly. “Where you from?” His accent was heavy, and the cab reeked of stale coffee, the unofficial smell of New York City.

“LA,” he replied. “California.”

“What part? My sister-in-law lived down there.” The cab finally reached the airport’s exit, and the scent of exhaust and gas became more pungent as the sounds of the city became louder. Boone knew that this wasn’t Manhattan, where NYU was actually located, but he still couldn’t help being disappointed by his surroundings – a rundown area of Queens.

“Malibu?” He answered tentatively. He was well-aware of people’s preconceptions of the area.

“Malibu, huh?” He barked. “My sister-in-law is in the actual city, you probably aren’t very familiar with it.” His voice was laden with disdain.

“I’ve been,” he said coolly. Boone shifted in his seat, pulling a packet of papers out of his carry-on, the informational packet about what he was to do when he arrived at “home”. First, he was supposed to check in with the RA in his dorm area, and then report to his assigned dorm. He had signed up for a suite, which he would share with four other people. Sabrina thought this was a good idea because he wouldn’t have to deal with the crazy double-loaded corridor dorm life, but he also wouldn’t be socially isolated. And for once, Boone agreed with his mother.

Boone was exceedingly nervous to meet his dorm mates. He knew that he was pretty easy to get along with, but people on the East Coast were different from people on the West Coast. They might not appreciate his easy-going attitude, and shun him from the group. He wondered if his fellow students would be loud and crass, or quiet and well-mannered.

Change was something that was difficult for Boone to accept, though, and for a moment, he longed again for the stability of his life in California – he hadn’t had many friends, but he had been okay, and Shannon had been there for him to talk to, touch (if she let him), and dream about.

He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, and speed-dialed Shannon’s cell number. She picked up on the fourth ring, finally. “Hello?” The sound of her voice filled Boone with a sweet, shivery feeling in his stomach.

“Hey, it’s me,” he smiled.

“Hey, Me,” she replied, the smirk evident in her voice. “Where are you?”

“I’m in a taxi, driving through Queens.”

“Ew,” she said. “Queens is gross.”

“Have you ever even been?”

“Remember when we visited New York when I was eleven, and you were thirteen?” She asked.

“How could I forget? You nearly threw up went we went up to the top of the Empire State building, you were so scared of heights. I had to take you inside the building to comfort you.”

“If I remember correctly, it was you that was scared.”

“You don’t remember correctly, then,” he said stubbornly.

There was a pause. “I miss you already, Boone.”

“I know, I miss you too.”

“You miss Sabrina?” She mocked.

“No, but don’t tell her that.”

“I’ll tell her that you won’t be able to sleep without her there to tuck you in and kiss you goodnight.” Shannon said sarcastically.

“Good girl,” he chuckled. “So what are you doing?”

“I just got back from a rehearsal… I have a pretty big solo in our next ballet performance.”

“When is it?”

“October,” she said coldly. “You won’t be able to make it.”

“I wish I could,” he said earnestly.

“Yeah, well,” she replied, “Whatever.”

“Oh my god,” Boone suddenly remember, looking at the fading gray upholstery on the seat of the cab. “Remember what we did in that taxi in Australia?”

“Boone,” she laughed. “What ever happened to the vow of silence?”

“What vow?” He played dumb. “I can’t remember a vow.”

“You’re such an ass, Boone.”

“You love it,” he teased with the idea of flirting with her.

“Mmmmhmm,” she agreed. “Well, I should get going…”

“I love you,” he blurted out.

“I love you, too. Bye, Boone.”

“Bye, Shan.” He held the phone to his ear for a few lingering moments, just feeling her on the line, before hanging up.

“Long distance girlfriend?” The taxi driver asked.

“Um,” he considered correcting the man, but, remembering some of the things he had said, he decided to leave it be. “Yeah.” Boone looked out the window, observing tall buildings, billboards, busy people walking briskly down the streets. It wasn’t that much different from LA – just grayer, older, and dirtier, he decided.

“We’re now in Manhattan,” the driver said. “We crossed the bridge while you were on the phone.”

“Oh, okay,” Boone replied, and watched the variety of buildings and people outside until he was dizzy from it all, and the cab slowed to a stop in the front of NYU. Boone perused the map of the school that his information packet contained, noticing that his dorm was on the other side of campus. “Actually, my dorm is on 33 Washington Square West,” he read off the paper. After the driver had gotten to the appropriate building, Boone paid and thanked him, and stood outside of his new home.

Boone checked in with the RA on the second floor – an average looking, bespectacled girl, with a bit of a New Jersey accent, who had rattled off a list of rules and given him a key.

Boone turned the key into the door of his dorm tentatively. He couldn’t hear if there were people inside, but either way, he was still nervous. He had some idea what to expect – a plain, but clean room with a bed in it, along with a dresser and desk, but he had no idea what to expect from his roommates.

“Someone’s coming,” he heard a voice inside say, so he quickly put the key back into his pocket and knocked.

A petite girl with a black and white striped sweater and wavy brown hair answered the door. She looked at Boone appraisingly. “You must be Mr. California,” she noted.

“How’d you know?” Boone asked, not sure what to make of this girl yet.

“Didn’t you get the page that said who your other roommates were?” She asked.

“I guess not. So, um, do you have a name?” Boone wasn’t sure if this was a good start or not.

“Yes,” she said shortly. “And your name is Boone. Boone Carlyle. Are you related to the wedding dress – “

“She’s my mom.”

“Ouch,” said the girl, still not saying her name.

“Yeah… so, what’s your name?”

A tall Asian guy suddenly appeared behind her. “I couldn’t get it out of her for an hour,” he laughed easily. Boone instantly liked this guy – he was instantly less nervous about the whole situation. “I’m Ben,” he reached out his hand to shake Boone’s.

“Boone,” he introduced.

“Ah, the California boy! Right, Lilly?” Ben said. Lilly scowled. “Woops, let your name slip, did I?” He smiled teasingly at her.

“I’m Lilly,” said Lilly reluctantly, shaking Boone’s hand, and Boone remembered that his father’s niece was called Lilly. “So, where’s the surfboard? Bimbo girlfriend?” She craned her neck towards the door, as if looking for something.

“Where’s the kawfee?” He imitated the way that New Yorkers pronounced ‘coffee’. “Where's the brash, affected attitude?” He asked, and Lilly rolled her eyes. “Oh wait, there it is.”

“Aren’t you charming.” She responded flatly. “I’m gonna go set up some stuff in my room.” And with that, Lilly excused herself.

“She likes you,” said Ben earnestly after she had departed. “She just puts on an act. She was like that when I first got here too. But she warms up fast. Pretty soon she’ll be eating from your breakfast plate and wearing your clothes.” Boone shuddered. “Not to scare you.”

“I’m not scared,” he lied, still confused about the nature of this Lilly person. “So, where are you from? When did you get in?”

“I’ve lived in Manhattan almost my whole life. I got here early this morning.”

“I see,” said Boone. “I live in Malibu, California. I’m so lost here, I have no idea where anything is.”

“Well I can help show you around. I know the campus pretty well, too. My older sister goes here.”

“Oh, really? Any other siblings?” He relished the opportunity to bring up Shannon.

“I have a younger brother. He’s a pain in the ass, fifteen.”

“Well most fifteen year olds are,” Boone agreed. “I have a little sister. Shannon - she’s seventeen. She wasn’t very happy when she found out I was moving across the country.”

“My brother would’ve been,” Ben raised his eyebrows. “But I guess that’s a pretty huge adjustment. Brave of you, though.”

“Thanks. My mom was all to eager to get rid of me.”

“Oh… wait, is your mom the Sabrina Carlyle?” Ben asked, and Boone sighed, knowing that he’d been receiving this question often.

“Yup. Wedding designer extraordinaire.” He rolled his eyes.

“Fun. What does your dad do?” Boone froze.

“My step-dad is a lawyer.” He avoided that actual question, but there was an honesty in Ben’s eyes that made Boone want to tell the whole truth. “My dad… he was a professor, I have no idea what he is now. Let’s just say we don’t have much of a relationship.”

“That sucks, man,” Ben said casually, not judging.

“I don’t know my way around this place at all,” Boone changed the subject. “What time is orientation tomorrow?”

“Nine,” Ben answered.

“Do you know how many more roommates we’re supposed to get?”

“I think,” Ben started. “Two more.” He unfolded a sheet of paper from his pocket. “Didn’t you get one of these? It’s the contact information for the other people assigned to this dorm.”

“Nope,” Boone shrugged. “Wait, there’s only five, but there are three rooms.”

“Right, so one person gets their own room. I don’t really care too much, you want to share a room with me?”

“Sounds good,” he made a mental note to move his things into the room where Ben had placed his things later. Boone and Ben continued talking for a while, and, as Ben had predicted, Lilly started warming up to Boone more, shooting lots of playful insults his way.

“I’m Boone,” Boone answered. “And this is – “

“Ben,” Ben reached out to shake Ted’s hand.

“Do you think you’re hardcore because you’re wearing a Nirvana shirt?” Lilly asked Ted harshly. Ted looked down at her.

“Well aren’t you little Miss Feisty?” He asked. “It’s good to meet you too – “

“Lilly,” Boone and Ben said in unison.

“Well, Lilly, I don’t think I’m hardcore because I’m wearing a Nirvana shirt. Do you think you’re hardcore because you’re wearing black?”

“No,” she blushed, scowling simultaneously, as if to ward the embarrassment off of her face.

“Next time I wear a shirt with a band on it, I’ll remember to get your approval.”

“Whatever,” she rolled her eyes, but was smiling.

“You look like you could loosen up. Actually, you all do. Want to go out for a beer or something?”

“I don’t really want to get kicked out of school before it starts,” Lilly responded.

“I’m in,” Ben shrugged.

“I don’t want the other roommate to come to an empty dorm,” Boone excused himself, a little wary of this new character.

“Sure, whatever,” Ted shrugged. “Let me just put my stuff in a room.”

“There’s only going to be five of us, and the other one is a girl, so you can have your own room,” Boone said, hoping this was okay with his new roommates. But he had a feeling that Ted might prove to be a little… difficult.

“Thanks man,” Ted squeezed past Boone to the bedroom behind him. Lilly squinted at him.

After Ben and Ted left, it was just Lilly and Boone alone in the room. Boone sat on the couch, and Lilly, surprisingly, followed suit. “So…” Boone started. “Tell me a little about yourself?” He was terrible at subtle small-talk, so he decided to just jump in.

“What is this, a job interview?” She wrinkled her nose. “Fine. My name’s Lilly, I’m eighteen, and I’ve lived in New York since high school. I’m here for art.”

“Got any siblings?” He once again tried to drop Shannon into the conversation.

“I have an older brother and sister. Twins, but complete opposites. My sister is basically a Barbie, and my brother couldn’t be further from it. You have any siblings?”

“I have a sister, stepsister actually. She’s seventeen. She’s a ballet dancer.”

“I used to dance…” She smiled briefly, making Boone to think that maybe there was more to the story.

“Oh. You play any sports?”

“No. Let me guess – you surf.” She rolled her eyes ironically.

“Not really.” He had tried, a few times, but hadn’t experienced much knack for the sport.

“That’s not very California of you.”

“I’m not as California as you think,” he pointed out.

“Tennis?” She ignored him.

“A little,” he admitted.

“Yeah, you’re pretty damn California.” Lilly had settled into the couch, and he appreciated how even though she was sitting pretty close, he felt absolutely no sexual tension whatsoever.

“You’ve got something on your cheek,” He suddenly noticed.

“Here?” She motioned to her jaw area.

“No, higher,” but Lilly didn’t seem to be taking a hint, so he started to reach over to brush it off for her.

“Are you flirting with me?” She asked when he touched her face.

“No, you’re not my type.” He said quickly. Lilly seemed like a girl who could handle frankness.

“What’s your type?” She didn’t quite pull away, instead she leaned into his hand on her face.

“I like blondes,” he smiled, playing along, but then snatched his hand away quickly, just to tease her. She laughed.

“Figures,” she giggled. “California boy,” she whispered, to bother him. Just then, the phone, which was on the table next to them, rang. “I’ll get it,” she reached over him to answer the phone. “Hello?” She said. “Yeah… yeah… okay… see you.”

“Who was that?” Boone asked sleepily, pleased with how well he was getting with his roommates – well, Ben and Lilly anyway.

“That was Rebecca, our other roommate. Her flight was delayed, she won’t be in until very late tonight.”

“Oh, okay. How does she sound?”

“How the hell should I know?” She snapped, but Boone was already used to her harsh way of speaking. It reminded him of Anna.

“I dunno,” he yawned, suddenly realizing how tired he was. Just then, they heard the sound of a key turning in the lock.

“Damn, they knew my fake ID was fake,” He heard Ted saying. “Shit.” Boone smiled at Lilly in amusement.

“Hello, boys,” Lilly smiled smugly. “Have fun, I presume?”

“Loads,” Ted rolled his eyes. “I’m going to bed.”

“Yeah, me too.” Boone decided. “I’ve had a long day. ‘Night Ben. Goodnight Lilly.”

“’Night, Boone.” Lilly said, and Ben said something of similar nature. After brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed, Boone put the sheets he had packed onto the extra long twin bed in his and Ben’s room. He would unpack the rest of his things tomorrow, he decided.

Boone finally fell asleep, content with how well the day had gone, but still uncomfortable with his new surroundings. Maybe tomorrow this whole experience would seem less surreal.

She missed him so much. She missed him with a constant, aching pain deep inside her body that throbbed whenever she attempted a smile. She missed him so much that a shadowy, ghostly image of his face seemed to have been tattooed inside her brain, making it impossible to think about anything else, or put it aside.

Shannon would lie huddled in a ball at night, breathing in his scent, her hand over her heart as she tried to imagine it was his pulsating beat against her palm instead of her own. When Shannon fell into fitful, unreliable sleep, it was thoughts of him that plagued her mind – every smile, every glare, and every flicker in his eyes. And when she woke up as dawn crept into the sky beseechingly the next morning, with the same amount of luster as it had yesterday, his jacket was stained with her tears, her face moist and damp with saline, like she had stained his heart for all those years.

There were only a few moments when she felt at peace with herself in the week after he died. In the innocent brevity before she fully awoke, she would lie unknowingly in the morning summer sun, rainbows in the closed crescents of her eyes, as his jacket gave off his scent much as it had when he was alive. When Shannon opened her eyes, the sun became glared and strangely odious, and she wondered when the smell on the jacket would fade like his body, deep under the ground of this island.

The island didn’t look any different to others, but to Shannon, it had changed. The once moist, hot sand, was now grainy, and the crashing waves now merely rocked back and forth tepidly, and the sun seemed now to filter itself from its once unadulterated light. Everything seemed to have filtered itself – reflections from transparent to translucent, and the world was numbed and spinning, allowing her only to feel mere shards of emotions that she picked up in pieces like sea glass on the beach.

In the morning, she knew that she would never again be greeted by the flits of silver freckles that sparkled in his blue eyes, but in the last few strains of unconsciousness, she could have sworn that the life in his eyes throbbed within her. And every breath she took, every beat of her heart, was now for him. She had always lived solely for her self, but now she was breathing his breaths, and whispering his voice and dreaming his dreams. It was what got her through each painful day she scraped through – she was living for him now.

Tangled Youth

Chapter 26

Shannon was currently blasting Pink, and the catchy pop melodies wafted down the hall through her closed door. She was screaming along with Pink’s strained vocals, something about, “You can run over me with your 18 wheeler but you can't keep me down!”

Minutes before, she had stormed through the house, thrown her Dolce and Gabbana purse on the couch haphazardly, ignoring Boone, who had been downstairs making iced tea to relieve himself from the abnormally hot May weather. “Fuck! I hate him!” Shannon had screamed, not even checking to see if Sabrina was home.

“Shan, what’s – “ he had started, but she had cut him off with another screechy “Fuck!” Not that he had expected an answer, because she still wasn’t speaking to him.

Now, it could be inferred, what with the girl power music and occasional “screw him!” that she had just broken up with her boyfriend, Gabe. And Boone felt cruel when he noticed the corners of his lips turning up into a spiteful smile. Maybe if she didn’t have a boyfriend, she would want to be with him. God, he was so full of contradictions! He wanted her to be happy, but at the same time, he was secretly thrilled at finding out she was single again.

Earlier that week, he had asked Erin to go the Prom with him, and she had willingly accepted. Ever since her newfound Catholicism, she had been noticeably less enthralled with Boone, replacing their afternoon trysts for long conversations about God. Boone had asked Kevin for advice about the situation, but they decided it was hopeless, because, in the eloquent words of Kevin, “You can’t break up with her now, man, cuz then it’ll seem like you were only with her so you guys could like, bang.” So Boone was still with her, and they were going to prom together.

Shannon was going with Gabe, but now, Boone suspected, as Shannon sang, “I won’t give a fuck…” that these plans were going to be rethought. Kevin and Anna, on the other hand, had decided to ditch Prom to go smoke pot, and do other things that Boone did not want to think about. Boone and Shannon, in the few words they had exchanged in the past few months, had intelligently neglected to inform Sabrina or Adam of their friend’s alternate plans.

Now, from his place at his desk doing math homework, Boone was becoming entirely fed up with the new choice of music, Dashboard Confessional. “Your hair, is everywhere, screaming infidelities, taking its toll…” she sang, but with a wavering sensitivity she had lacked when singing along with Pink. She hit every note perfectly, drowning out Chris Carraba’s overly eager voice. Boone closed his eyes, unable to concentrate on Calculus now, letting himself be caught up with his sister’s smooth voice. But her voice became increasingly shaky as the song continued, and when the song was over, she turned off the music, and he could hear her collapse into silent sobs. Even though they were in a fight, Boone couldn’t help but stand up, walk down the hall, and softly knock on the door.

“Go away,” she blubbered.

He sighed. “Shan, what happened?”

“Like you care!” She sobbed. “If you cared about me at all, you wouldn’t be moving across the country.”

“Shan, I care. I wanna know what’s wrong. I wanna help you,” he tried not to sound too eager.

“I don’t want your help,” her voice cracked. “Would you just go away!”

“Fine,” he said, “I’ll leave.”

But later that night, before he turned off his lights, Shannon’s familiar silhouette appeared in his doorway. She wordlessly walked into the room, closing the door behind her, and motioned for Boone to scoot over. Boone bore his blue eyes into her soft brown ones, trying to read her expression for some signal of forgiveness. She blinked, looking away, climbing underneath his covers. That was how Shannon and Boone were, going by the “forgive and forget” method, though they both knew that one day there would be too many “forgets” to forgive. She lay on her back, barely inches from him, completely quiet. She flicked off the light switch, her face contorted into a stony expression. “Shan?” He said finally. But he wasn’t able to finish his thought because before he knew it, he was catching Shannon’s tears with his t-shirt, her face buried into the crook of his neck, their closest contact in weeks.

“Why can’t I just be mad at you?” She cried. “I wanna be mad at you, but I just can’t!”

Boone was unsure of what to say, but too afraid to try to touch her. “I’m sorry. I wanna stay here with you, but NYU isn’t moving here anytime soon.”

“He said the most awful things to me!” She changed the subject, snuggling closer to Boone, her soft breasts against his arm. “He’s on… he’s on a lot of drugs, did you know that? And he was high and he said the most terrible things about me, about our relationship, about… about us…”

“What did he say about us?” He tried not to overreact, imagining Gabe doing drugs in front of his innocent, angelic sister, and the possibility that he might know about their relationship…

“Oh, you know… stuff.” She sniffled. “Do you remember last time we were like this, Boone? When I told you about my mom, remember?”

“How could I forget?” He answered wryly, knowing that he would probably remember that night for the remainder of his life.

She dug her nails into his arm, letting out another gasping sob. “I told him I was fed up with all his bullshit, but he was too high to care. And he was always kind of… teasing me with the needles and the powder and the joints… but at the same time, I kind of fell for him, you know?” She breathed, as Boone imagined himself beating that fucking bastard into oblivion, who he now despised with every bit of blood in his entire body. “Sometimes I’ll just get these random flashes of finding her, finding her dead on the floor. And I got one of those a few nights ago when we were… when…” Boone still hadn’t reciprocated any of her gentle touches. “Please hold me, Boone,” she cried. Shivering, he wrapped his arms around her waist, gently rocking her back and forth in his arms, whispering to her that it would be okay, even though he wasn’t sure it would be. After a few minutes of competing with her sobs with soft condolences in her ear, he heard the door slam downstairs.

“Oh no,” he said. “She’s home.”

“Will she make me leave?” Shannon’s voice was stable, but strained.

“If you’re quiet, she won’t notice,” Boone tightened his grip around her waist.

“She doesn’t like us being close, you know,” Shannon said dully.

“I know, but she sets this double standard. She doesn’t want us to be close, but she doesn’t want us fighting either.”

“Shhh,” she whispered harshly. They were completely silent, holding onto each other as if they were going to be attacked. Boone heard the click-clack of his mother’s heels on the wood hallway, praying that they wouldn’t open his door. But when he heard the sound of the doorknob turning, there was nothing they could do.

“Boone?” Sabrina said, and Boone could detect traces of suspicion in her voice. But then she noticed Shannon’s presence. “I’ve been telling you for years you’re way too old for this!” She exclaimed, her voice rising. “Look, I can’t deal with this right now!” She yelled, slamming the door. “I’m going to bed.”

“Shan,” Boone tried after a few moments, the sound of the door slamming resonating in his ears. She didn’t respond. “Shannon?” She shook her head against his chest, not wanting to respond.

“I don’t wanna leave,” she finally whispered. “Please don’t make me leave. I keep thinking about her, and I can’t think about her alone. It’s too much. Please, Boone.”

“You can stay here as long as you want,” he looked at her, the source of his greatest frustration, lovingly. He couldn’t say no to her. He hadn’t ever been able to, and he probably never would be. He kissed her on the forehead, I love you, he thought, and tried to settle himself into that comfortable escape called sleep.

The next morning, Saturday, Boone was awoken by his cell phone around nine in the morning. He rolled onto his side, pleased but slightly guilty to see Shannon’s peaceful form sleeping, her body touching his. He carefully slid out of the bed, careful not to disturb her.

“Hello?” He said nervously, trying to silence the blaring ring. Shannon opened her eyes, rubbing sleep out of her eyes.

“Boone?” It was Erin. “Did I wake you up?”

“Yeah, but it’s okay,” he replied. Shannon stretched, the covers pulled right up against her chin.

“Boone,” Shannon groaned. “Whose on the phone? What time is – “ He shushed her, but it was too late.

“Who are you talking to?” Erin asked.

“Shannon,” he said instinctively.

“But I thought I woke you up,” he wished she would just drop it.

“Yeah, you did,” he hoped he didn’t sound annoyed, even though he was.

“So why was she in your room?”

“She just… came in,” he tried to think of an appropriate reply.

“Boone, I’ve…” she sighed. “Boone, I’ve heard some things, well, I don’t wanna do this over the phone, but, um,” she started to get a little hysterical.

“I think we need to talk,” the words came flooding from his mouth. He hadn’t been meaning to utter those notorious words, especially the week before prom, but he somehow ended up blurting it out anyway.

“I was just going to say that.”

“Boone, come back to bed, I’m cold,” Shannon said innocently. Maybe she hadn’t realized it was Erin on the phone, or maybe she did, but either way, she had said the wrong thing at the wrong time.

“That’s not Shannon in there, is it?” Erin said flatly.

“Look, I don’t know how to explain this, but – “ he started. “Shannon had a nightmare last night and came into my room.”

“Oh my,” Erin sounded distressed. “Oh my god.” It almost sounded as if she had wanted it to be another girl. Could she… know? “I mean, gosh. Oh my gosh.” Boone breathed into the receiver, not sure what to say. “We definitely need to talk, Boone. Why don’t I come over later?” She said sternly, like a mother to a child who had tracked muddy shoes into the house.

“Yeah. Um, bye.” He hung up the phone, confused, and annoyed with both Erin and Shannon.

“I’m sorry,” she pulled the covers even closer around her face. “I’m really sorry.” Her eyes were stained with last night’s tears, her hair framed her face in an unflattering circle of frizz, but her expression was so sincere and so endearing that he couldn’t bear to be angry with her. He slid back under the covers, putting his worries about Erin aside, and she held onto him, giggling and closing her eyes again. He watched her for awhile, her perfect blonde eyelashes fluttering in her sleep, and he realized that his relationship with Erin had already been over for a long time.

When Erin came over that afternoon, she was all business. No greeting, no small talk, just right to the chase. “What do you want to talk about?” She asked, still standing on the doorstep, lips pursed, sunglasses still on her eyes, cross necklace perfectly in place.

“I think it’s pretty clear that there’s a space between us that… can’t be filled.” He beckoned for her to come in, but she ignored the gesture.

She took off her sunglasses. “Can’t be filled, or you just don’t want to fill it? You don’t care enough to?”

Boone looked away. “Erin, look – “

“Boone, I know there’s someone else, so could you please stop denying it?”

“I’m not cheating on you, Erin. I’m not,” he tried to convince her, but his voice ended up adopting the tone of an overeager preschooler.

“Look,” her face fell, and she put her sunglasses in her bag, metaphorically dropping the ice queen act. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot, and I…” she frowned, looking pained. “I really hope this isn’t true, but like I said earlier, I’ve… I’ve heard some things…” Boone’s eyes widened. He wanted to deny it, but his mouth had stopped working. So he just stood there, staring blankly at her.

“W-what kinds of things?” He was able to stutter, trying to sound blasé.

Erin looked disgusted. “About you and Shannon. And I’ve seen the way you look at her…” now she was fighting back tears. “I didn’t want to believe it Boone, but,” a sob escaped her lips, “I’ve been denying it for a while and it… seems pretty clear to me that you’ve been distracted through our,” she wiped tears from her eyes, losing track of the speech she had obviously prepared beforehand. “Through our relationship,” she continued, and Boone was still speechless. “I came here so you could tell me it’s not true. But what I heard on the phone this morning hasn’t exactly convinced me. So, it’s up to you to tell me the truth.” she finished. Boone didn’t respond, just stared at the floor at her shoes, the ones that were so much like the one’s Shannon wore. “It’s…” she tried. “It’s not true, right?”

“We’re not really brother and sister,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “My mom married her Dad when we were eight and ten.”

Erin closed her eyes in frustration, trying not to completely blow up. “Obviously, we’re done.”

“I guess so. I’m really sorry, Erin…” he said meekly.

“You know, it was incredibly low of you to pretend I was her. Is that why you asked me out the first day at summer school? Because I look like her?” She tucked her long blonde hair behind her ear. “Don’t answer that.” She said before he could open his mouth. “I should go. I guess this is goodbye.”

“Erin, it’s not like we’ve ever done anything together. I just, I have these feelings for her I can’t seem to get rid of, and – “ Erin shook her head slowly.

“I don’t want to be a stand-in girl. I need to find someone who will appreciate me for me. I’m sure you could understand that.”

“I’m really sorry,” he said sincerely. “I wish it didn’t have to… be this way. Especially the week before Prom.” She shrugged.

“I can’t make it to Prom anyway,” she announced coolly, putting her sunglasses back on her eyes, readopting the ice queen act. “Bye, Boone.”

“Bye?” he responded, and stood in the doorway long after she disappeared. When the sky began to morph to shades of aubergine, he felt two arms wrapping around his neck from behind him.

“So, are you going to miss your own Prom?” Shannon asked hesitantly.

“I dunno,” he shrugged her off, not wanting to be influenced by her touch at the moment. “Hadn’t really thought about it.”

“Well, I’m obviously not going with Gabe, so… would it be weird if we went together?” Boone tried not to look too excited. “Christina Berens is going with her big brother.” He loved the way Shannon said ‘big brother’, for some reason.

“If you’re okay with that,” he kept his voice level. “Then I’d love to go to Prom with you.”

She smiled, a full, genuine smile – the kind of smile that gave Boone the will to live when he was feeling down. “I love you, Big Brother,” she said deprecatingly, and gave him a kiss on the cheek, leaving the room. “Would you friggin’ close the god damn door? You’ve been standing there for hours.”Well, thought Boone, closing the door he hadn’t expected the fairy-tale moment to last forever.

Chapter 27

Boone knew that girls made a huge deal about the Prom, but this was ridiculous. On Monday after ballet, Shannon had taken her four dress possibilities that she had purchased in December and tried them all on, finally deciding on a midnight blue dress that had cost almost a grand at Louis Vuitton. At St. Gabriel’s, there was a rule that none of the girl’s could wear dresses exposing excessive cleavage, but Shannon had worked around that rule – her dress was completely backless and had a slit up the side about a mile long.

On Tuesday, Boone had watched Shannon from between the slats of his window shades perfecting her tan downstairs by the pool, and afterwards, he had done some things behind the closed door of his room that he wasn’t exactly proud of. When the sun went down, Shannon went into the bathroom for approximately an hour, making a mess with a container of self-tanner that claimed to last an entire week. On Wednesday, Shannon went to the spa for the afternoon with some friends from ballet, where she had a facial and a massage.

On Thursday, she had her nails done, and on Friday, she convinced her father to let her leave school early to get her hair done. But it was all worth it, because when Shannon exited her room on Prom Night before they left, she looked like a goddess. Well, a little too naughty to be a goddess. But either way, he had never seen her look so incredibly delicious.

“You’re in deep shit if you didn’t get me a corsage,” she said, turning around to display inches and inches of bare back that the dress didn’t cover. “How do I look?”

“Beyond amazing,” he sputtered, feeling like a nerd who was too shy to talk to the popular girl of his dreams. “Here’s the corsage thing.”

“Don’t poke me!” She squealed, surprising him and causing him to prick her with the pin of the corsage. “Jesus, Boone! It’s bad enough I’m going to the Prom with my friggin’ brother, but now you hurt me too!”

“Could be worse,” he said absently.

“You’re right. I mean, you know we’re going to be the hottest people there. I mean, look at us.” She looked Boone up and down. “Look at those eyes, and those lips, and that ass.” And now he knew she was purposely torturing him. “And of course, I’ve got the legs, and the hair, and the face…”

“And boobs,” he added in without thinking. “I mean, the… the…” But Shannon ignored his idiotic reply.

“Are we genetically blessed or what?” Boone knew that if he agreed or disagreed with her, she would use it against him, and he didn’t want to say anything he should keep to himself again, so he just smiled innocently, and led her outside to the car.

A few minutes later, they were standing at the entrance of the hotel where the dance was taking place. Shannon was constantly messing with her hair, or her dress, or her shoes, and Boone wanted to tell her how many thousands of ways of gorgeous she looked, but he kept his mouth shut at risk of saying something completely idiotic like “bootylicious”. That would be almost as bad as him saying “fo shizzle” or “mah girls” or wearing bling-bling. Boone laughed to himself at how ridiculous his thoughts were.

“What are you laughing about, pretty boy?” She narrowed her eyes playfully at him.

“Nothing,” he smiled.

“God, I can’t believe I’m going to Prom with my brother.” She said again, looking down. If it bothered her so much, then why was she doing it? He knew she could have managed to find a date over the week.

“Whatever,” he said tightly.

“You could have found some hot blonde to go with, I’m sure. You should hear the girls in the locker room, so many of them want you so bad,” she noted. I am going with some hot blonde, he thought. “And you’re like, not a player or anything either, which is a huge turn on.” She corrected herself. “For them, I mean.”

“Yeah. Uh, you wanna go in or are we just going to stand here all night?” He held out his arm to her, which she took brusquely.

“Chill out, Boone, yes, we are going in.” They walked inside the large room that the school had booked for the night. They had arrived fashionably late, to Shannon’s discretion, but many eyes still wandered in their direction when they walked through the room. “That girl over there is eye raping you,” Shannon whispered in his ear, pointing to a busty brunette that may as well have been invisible in comparison to Shannon. But every single girl in the room, he thought, no one besides Shannon really did anything for him. She just had to be his sister, didn’t she?

Within seconds, Shannon had abandoned his arm, and disappeared into the sea of people in the elaborately decorated room. Boone couldn’t even keep track of her, this little flash of navy blue moving around the room. The brunette girl who had been “eye raping” him, Rachel, he was pretty sure her name was, approached him.

“Hey,” she smiled. “Are you in my science class?”

“Yeah,” he responded, not entirely sure.

“Did you come with your sister?” No duh, that’s why I walked in with her.

“Yeah. You?”

“I don’t have a sister,” she said, her eyes wide and gullible.

“I gotta go,” he patted her on the shoulder, sympathetic to her stupidity. He walked towards the drink table, craning his neck, trying to find Shannon. She was standing in a circle of popular people, laughing, her eyes full of mirth as she joked with a few attractive girls around her. There were also a bunch of guys, a few of them touching Shannon lightly every so often, but it was enough to perturb Boone.

“You clean up nicely,” Boone looked over to see Kristy, who he actually hadn’t seen in a very long time.

“Thanks, you look nice too.” He said uncomfortably. She did look nice, her hair was done in waves, and her dress was slutty and red like almost everyone’s in the room.

“You wanna freak?” she asked, referring to the loud rap song that was currently playing.

“Sorry, not right now, I’m.. uh… eating.” He grabbed a grape from the table to prove his point. She laughed.

“Do I make you nervous?” She giggled.

“No,” he said flatly. “I’m just hungry.”

“Where did you get this jacket?” She purred, scratching her fake nails across Boone’s sleeve.

“I’m not sure,” he answered uncomfortably. “Look Kristy, I like you, but I don’t – “

“Excuse me,” suddenly squeaked a girl behind him, trying to reach a cookie on the platter on the table in front of Boone.

“Sure,” he said distractedly. Kristy made an annoyed sound, and walked off huffily.

“Boone?” The other girl raised her eyebrows. What was her name?

“Taylor! My lab partner from… biology last year?” He remembered.

“Yeah,” Taylor replied, fidgeting with her halter-top pink dress. “Where’s Erin?”

“We broke up,” he said.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” She touched his arm quickly. “You guys were too cute.”

“It’s really okay, it was a mutual thing,” he said. “I came with my sister, actually.”

“Aw, are you guys close?”

“Well, she’s not exactly happy about it,” he said wryly.

“Oh. Well, I came with some friends,” she said.

He glanced quickly back at Shannon, who had her arms around a sandy-haired boy and was getting ready to slow-dance with him as some cheesy ballad blasted through the room. “So,” he found himself asking Taylor. “You wanna dance?”

She looked extremely enthused. “Okay, yeah!” She put her arms around his neck, and his around her waist. Shannon was still draped over the blonde guy, so Boone stared meaningfully at her and pulled Taylor closer to him. Shannon glared back, and he tried to scowl, not blinking. His expression must have been amusing, because Shannon burst out laughing, much to the confusion of her newest boy toy.

“What?” He mouthed to Shannon. She shook her head against the guy’s neck, still smiling. Then the guy with her turned her around, so that her back was facing Boone.

“Where are you going to college?” Taylor asked, looking up at him.

“NYU,” he answered. “What about you?” His decision was final, though he was ambivalent about it.

“Wow, East Coast. I’m going to USC.” She shrugged.

“That’s cool.” He glanced quickly over at Shannon, who caught his eyes and looked at him mischievously. He couldn’t discern if it was just a smile, or if it had been… suggestive. But the longer they looked at each other, the more convinced he was that her look had indeed been intended that way. Taylor put her head on Boone’s shoulder, and Shannon nuzzled her chin into her guy’s neck. But her eyes were still centered on Boone, and he returned the look with the same touch of mischief in his eyes. Shannon continued to stare at him, and as the song progressed, the look in her eyes became more and more overtly sexual, and he was sure now it wasn’t his imagination. Finally Shannon lay a soft kiss on her partner’s neck, still not averting her gaze. Then she did it again, sending shivers down Boone’s spine. But his pleasure was quickly replaced when Shannon turned back to the guy she was dancing with and started kissing him more fully on the lips. Boone jerked his head away, looking back at Taylor, trying to calm himself.

“You okay?” She asked.

“I’m fine.” Luckily, just then, the song ended, and Boone excused himself politely. He stormed outside, and sat on a bench, needing some air after Shannon’s behavior. The night air was cool and calming, or it would have been, had he not been joined shortly after by Shannon herself, who sat down next to him and crossed her knees carefully.

“You take everything too seriously, Boone,” she laughed. “Lighten up a little.” She reached over and straightened out his collar anal retentively. “You’re cute,” she smiled in response to the scowl he shot her. She looked up at him, and placed her hand on his thigh. “I’m glad you came to Prom with me, Boone,” she said innocently, biting her lip, and rubbing her hand in a slow circle on his leg.

“I’m glad, too,” he tried to act nonchalant, but was having difficulty not reacting to her hands placement and behavior. Boone found himself brushing his arm over her back quickly, and she flashed him a coaxing smile. However, Boone didn’t do anything more, simply maintaining his hand at the vicinity of her smooth, tanned back.

“Mm,” she closed her eyes. “I’m gonna miss you.” Boone pulled her a little closer into an awkward hug, and she leaned against his shoulders, her hand still revolving slightly at his thigh.

“I wish New York would move here so I didn’t have to leave,” he whispered in her ear.

She smiled, eyes still closed. “Mm,” she agreed. “Me too.” She leaned back and kissed him on the cheek luxuriously. “Do you wanna go inside, and then, do you wanna dance?” She asked, a little breathless. She stood up. “It’s a slow one right now.”

“Of course,” he said, but he was nervous that wandering eyes would prove to be suspicious. On the other hand, it was just a dance, that to onlookers would look platonic. Plus, the room was full of tall blondes, so no one could be sure it was Shannon, his sister. She pulled him onto the dance floor, and before long they were wrapped up in each other, as if they were dancing in a tight embrace. She had her cheek against his, and as the song twinkled along, they became more conscious of each other, and the people around them seemed to disappear. He rubbed her back slightly, and she tightened her arms around his neck, and whispered his name in his ear. He shivered, and she pulled back slightly, and looked up at him. He looked back into her bright brown eyes, and before he could think, he moved his face closer to hers, and she tilted her head slightly to the right. They moved their faces closer, until their lips were practically touching… But the trance was quickly broken when they realized what they were doing. “Sorry,” he said awkwardly, and Shannon moved her head to his shoulder.

“It’s okay,” she answered harshly, looking around. “I don’t think anyone saw.”

“I’m really sorry,” he stuttered.

“Shhh,” she told him, as the song reached its final notes. They held onto each other until the last note had echoed into silence, revolving in a circle to the rhythm of the song. She finally broke away, but they didn’t break eye contact as she moved her arms from around his neck, and he moved his hands from her back. “Thanks,” she mouthed, though he wasn’t sure what she was referring to. What he was sure of, however, was that he was in heaven.

Chapter 28

“Honey, what day did you say you were leaving again?” Sabrina asked one morning, fastening the buckle on her briefcase almost violently. It was late August, about four days before Boone was set to leave for New York, and he was currently sitting at the kitchen table, reading the NYU course catalog for about the thousandth time, eating corn flakes. Shannon was at an all day ballet performance workshop.

“Um, Tuesday afternoon.”

“Oh no,” she said distractedly, taking a sip of her freshly squeezed orange juice. “I’m going to be in the wine country until Tuesday morning! Is that okay?” But considering that she was getting ready to leave to get on a plane to Northern California now, he didn’t have much of a choice. Still, it didn’t exactly please him that his mom wouldn’t be at home the night before he went to college.

“What about Adam?”

“Oh, right,” Sabrina almost knocked over Boone’s corn flake box. “He’s coming, too. It’s so nice up there, and there’s this precious Inn we always stay at, and…” Just then, her cell phone started ringing, and she answered. “Hello? Jane? Could you hold on a moment?” She put her hand over the receiver of the flip phone. “Boone, honey, I need to go, but I’ll see you in a few days, alright? I can’t believe you’re going to college!” She gave Boone a quick, half-hearted hug. “Behave, alright?”

“Yes, mother,” he replied, lacing his tone with sarcasm.

She smiled falsely, and picked up her phone again. “Yes, Jane? Sorry, I had a bit of a distraction… the plans for the Johnson’s? Yes, they’ve raised their budget…” And with that, she slammed the door behind her and was gone.

It had been Shannon’s idea to go out for dinner, just the two of them, the night before he was to leave for NYU. They went to a small Mexican restaurant that Sabrina would dub ‘uncivilized’, but as long as it was a place where Shannon would be allowed to dine in flip flops and tank top with a bikini underneath, they were happy with it.

In the restaurant, they talked about meaningless nonsense – really ignoring the underlying issue of his impending departure. It was all “How was your day” and “Guess who’s dating who” and “Isn’t your mother a bitch?” Boone wasn’t really interested in the vapid content of what she was saying, but he listened intently to her voice, because he wanted to hear as much of it as possible before he left. He watched her facial expressions as she spoke, the way her lips moved and her eyes rolled, trying to memorize every bit of porcelain skin on her face. Even though she would visit, and he would have pictures, he was deathly afraid of forgetting how her face looked.

“So, Boone,” she kicked him under the table as he read over the bill, verifying its accuracy. “Guess what I stole from Daddy’s closet for the beach?” Shannon and Boone had agreed on taking a trip to the nearby beach after dinner. Both the restaurant and the beach were walking distance, so they hadn’t even bothered using the car.

Boone looked up, smiling dubiously. “Something with alcoholic content?” She bit her lip, looking around suspiciously before adjusting the fabric of the tote bag she was carrying to expose the top of a full bottle of tequila. “Shannon!” He whispered sharply. “Put it back, someone will see!” Shannon slid it back into the back, grinning flirtatiously and giving his foot another nudge under the table.

“This mean I’m paying for dinner?” He wondered. But Shannon just pouted expectantly, and Boone pulled out some wrinkled bills from his pants pocket, and carefully counted them out, adding a fifteen percent tip, and sorted them compulsively, laying them on the table. Shannon pulled on his arm impatiently, whining at him to hurry up like she was a toddler at a museum. “Hold on, Shannon,” he faked annoyance, secretly enjoying her attention.

After making sure the bills were perfectly stacked on the table, he followed her out of the building, eyes on the hem of her tiny denim skirt. They walked to the beach in companionable silence, next to each other, and their hands accidentally brushed against each other as the sun set behind them. When they arrived at the beach, it was completely dark, and they sat down on the warm, grainy sand. Shannon handed Boone the bottle of tequila, motioning for him to open it. He untwisted it with difficulty, and took a tiny sip from it, the drink stinging his throat. Shannon took a long sip unflinchingly. “God, I can’t believe this is your last night as a California boy,” she took another sip, and passed it back to Boone. Boone gulped down some quickly. She rolled her eyes, taking the bottle from him and swallowing it with such ferocity it dribbled down her chin. Boone blamed it on the miniscule amount of alcohol he had consumed when he scooted close to her to wipe it off with the back of his thumb. She turned her head away from him, but still let him finish, shoving the bottle back towards him.

As they drank, they watched the white capped waves crashing relentlessly against the beach. As time went on, the few people remaining on the beach dissipated, and before long, Shannon and Boone were the only people in site. As the alcohol seeped through his blood, he found it more and more difficult to concentrate on Shannon’s words and not on her increasingly luscious looking lips. But thoughts of this being his last time spent with Shannon while actually living in California wove their way deeper into Boone as well, and her mannerisms and gestures became even more precious to him.

“You know I hate you for leaving me,” she slurred pleasantly, shakily handing the bottle back to him.

“I couldn’t hate you if I tried,” he replied blearily, his throat numb to the burn of the tequila in his throat.

“I know,” she whispered, her eyes wide and understanding. After another sip, which she slobbered all over her tank top, she started laughing suddenly. “Remember the time when Sabrina and Daddy were gone, and I tried on all her clothes, and she never found out?”

“That was non-sequis… non-sequizz… non-sequitor,” he struggled.

“Cuz I’m wasted,” she said triumphantly. “You’re wasted too.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” He grinned roguishly, the alcohol in his brain mixing to make him dizzy, giggly, hyper, and extremely horny all at once. Apparently, it has somewhat of a similar effect on Shannon, because before he knew it, she had hopped up, kicking off her sandals, and ran into the ocean surf, pulling off her tank top as she did so.

“Boone,” she whined, unnecessarily loudly. “Let’s go swimming!”

“I don’t have a swimsuit,” he stood up shakily, almost tripping.

Flames of mischief twinkled in her brown eyes. “Let’s go skinny dipping!” She exclaimed.

“Shan, I don’t – ” he started, but when he realized she was serious, untying the ties of her bikini that she had been wearing underneath her shirt, he stopped short. “Shannon, stop,” he managed, crushing together the n’s of her name so it sounded like he was saying, “Shnnn”.

“You know you wanna get naked!” She giggled loudly, her swimsuit top still half on (or half-off, depending on how you look at life), approaching him and reaching for the drawstring of his shorts. Her swimsuit was so loose around her chest, he could see the fleshy sides of her breasts.

“I can do it myself,” he flinched away, because he knew if he let her take off his shorts for him, he wouldn’t be able to control himself from throwing her into the sand and fucking her right there. Shannon shrugged, pulling the rest of the top over her head, shimmying out of her skirt, until she was just standing there in her tiny orange bikini bottoms, her arms crossed over her chest. Boone tried not to let his eyes linger, but it was no use.

“Look who’s graduated to boxer briefs from boxers!” She slurred. “Now take them off.”

“You first,” he whined.

“You first,” she imitated him. “Oh, fuck you, Boone!”

“I’d like to!” He slurred boldly, not able to control anything coming out of his mouth. Shannon raised her eyebrows, bending over to reach for the bottle, whose contents had been significantly reduced since their arrival at the shore. She took another sip, staring at Boone’s bare chest openly. Then she practically threw the bottle at Boone, and he gulped deeply into it, his eyes squeezed shut as he stepped out of his underwear in near fright.

“And I thought you were going to chicken out on me,” she struggled to compose an intelligible sentence, and pulled off her bikini bottoms as she jumped into the waves. “Shit, it’s all cold!” She screeched. Boone followed her into the surf, disregarding her warning, and splashed the freezing water at her. She laughed spitefully, and did the same to him, but with twice as much vehemence. He paddled closer to her, treading water furiously. “Boone, you can still touch the ground with your feet,” she pointed out. Boone blushed, and touched his feet to the sandy, pebbly bottom of the beach.

“You’re really dumb, you know that?” She said good-naturedly, standing to her full height as well, so that Boone could see her breasts above the water. “And it’s really obvious you’re checking me out.”

“Cuz you’re naked!” He responded furiously.

“So are you,” She laughed, her wet hair fanning out over her bare shoulders. “We’re so hot, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, you’re like the sexiest person ever,” he said, with so much conviction it made her laugh.

“Thanks,” she swam closer to him, and purred in his ear that he wasn’t bad looking himself. Then, she pulled away suddenly. “You know what sucks?” she whined, not giving him a chance to respond. “That we’re brother and sister! I mean, otherwise I’d totally screw you.” She swam even nearer to him.

“Yeah, me too!” He exclaimed. “What a coincilden… coincidilence… coincidence!”

“Yeah,” she said awkwardly, looking away. She sighed, and then they were both silent except for the sound of the crashing waves against the sand and her quiet breaths.

“Um,” he looked back at her, remembering she was naked and soaking wet. She frowned at him, and he coughed, looking away as well. She cautiously looked up at him, taking his chin in her hand so that he was facing her. Before she could move, she found his lips on hers, kissing her hard and full and unrestrained, and she was kissing him back. Then, their senses caught hold of them, and they both pulled back simultaneously. “Sorry,” he bit his lip.

“Let’s get out,” she said quietly, and he wasn’t sure if she was annoyed or not.

“I’m really sorry!” He slurred. Shannon stepped out of the water, taking a towel out of her tote bag and wrapping it around herself.

“Lie down,” she said, locating the bottle of tequila and taking a sip.

“What?” He cocked his head in confusion.

“Lie dowwwwn!” She practically screamed drunkenly. He followed her orders, lying down in the sand on his back. Bottle in hand, she lay down next to him, spreading out the towel so it covered both of them. She handed the bottle to Boone, and he drank appreciatively, especially after the awkwardness they had just experienced. Shannon put her head against his chest, her warm breasts pressing into his torso, and grabbed the tequila from him, nursing it to her lips as if she were a baby drinking from a bottle.

“Shannon, you think maybe you’ve had enough?” She shook her head fervently, gulping down even more, and then forced it against Boone’s lips. He swallowed reluctantly, pushing her away.

“I’m still mad at you,” she whispered, her words barely understandable under a thick slur. “You don’t hafta leave me, but you are.” He noticed tears formulating in her eyes.

“Shannn – Shannon, it’s not about leaving you. It’s about having a good college esper – experience.” He spoke slowly so that he wouldn’t mispronounce anything.

“Why can’t ya have a good college esper-ance here?” She didn’t even try not to slur her words.

“I’ve lived in California all my life, and I’ve always wanted to see the East Coast, and I know it’ll be hard for you, but it’ll be hard for me, too! What am I gonna do without you, Shan? You’re my best friend!” He hugged her to his chest, trying to comfort her.

“So are you,” she mumbled. “But I guess college is still more important to you.”

“No!” He said loudly. “Shannon!” She looked away, but he wrapped his arms around her shoulders, forcing her to make eye contact. “Shannon, please don’t think that.” I love you, he almost said. “It’s just for four years, and… I really care about you, so much, and… I was bound to move out at some point! I’m eighteen now, I’m an adult.” He went around in circles, not making any sense.

“This is our last night together.” She said stoically. “This is our last night living together. Ever.”

“I know, so let’s not fight, please?” He begged, whining a little thanks to the alcohol.

“Okay,” she said quietly, and put her head back on his chest. “I’m gonna miss you so much, though.”

“I know, me too.” He felt tears prickling at his eyes. “Shit, you’re making me cry!”

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, and wiped a tear from his face. Then she giggled a little, and kissed his tears away. “God, now you’re making me cry again!” She pulled back. “I need more alcohol.”

“No, ya don’t.” He grabbed it from her, and she reached for it.

“Yes, I do!” She screeched. “Give it, Boone!” But she was smiling through her tears, so he pulled it even further from her, putting it on the opposite side of his body. She stretched herself across him, trying to get to it. “Boone! You asshole!”

“You’ve had your share, Princess.” He sing-songed.

“If I’m Princess, does that make you Prince Charming?” She snickered.

“I dunno,” he tried to hold back a laugh. “Does it?” He raised his eyebrows, suddenly realizing that she was laying across him, one of her arms draped over his neck. His judgment level lowered because of the alcohol, he wrapped his arms around her lower waist, tucking her hair behind her ear as he did so. Surprisingly, she was still smiling.

“Yeah, I think it does,” she whispered, and kissed a dried up tear off his cheek, then on his neck, then playfully kissing him on the lips.

“Shit,” he muttered, deepening the kiss, giving into whatever. He leaned against her, blaming it on the tequila, and sucked on her bottom lip. Her lips were dry from the cold air, but inside, they were sweet and soft. She pressed her tongue against his, moaning into his mouth.

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” she mumbled in between kisses.

“Yeah,” he kissed her fervidly, “So much…” He ghosted his hand over her breasts, which had reacted to the cold night air. She shivered, grabbing his hand.

“Boone, you don’t have to leave… you could just stay and go to UCLA or USC like you were thinking about,” she pulled back, her eyes wide and afraid.

“I’ve already made my decision,” he answered apologetically. “But Shannon, I’m not kidding, I’ll call you every single day. I absolutely will.”

“But it’s not the same. I don’t get to look at you, or touch you, or…” she trailed off, kissing his neck softly. “I just don’t know what I’m gonna do without you.” She rested on his shoulder. “Let’s go home,” she breathed in his ear.

“Okay,” he agreed, putting his arm around her shoulders and giving her a quick squeeze. Then he stood up, and started putting his clothes back on. She did the same, but didn’t bother putting a shirt on over her bikini top. He decided it wouldn’t be especially comfortable to put a shirt on, because he was still damp and sticky from the salt water and sand. They walked home shakily, grabbing onto each other for support. By the time they reached the house, they had realized how exhausted they were, and silently took showers. About ten minutes later, Boone was sitting in his bed, clad in only underwear, when she joined him, clean and fresh from her shower, wearing a bathrobe over nothing but a pair of turquoise panties. She took off the bathrobe, and turned around, her back facing him, looking through his now almost-empty dresser for a big t-shirt.

“Third drawer,” he said, his voice sounding foreign and far away.

“Thanks,” she selected a navy blue t-shirt that Boone hadn’t worn since middle school. She looked sadly at the suitcases next to his bed. “I can’t believe this is really happening,” she climbed into bed, cuddled against him. She buried her head into the crook of his neck, breathing his scent in deeply. He wrapped his bed sheets around them, and turned out the light next to his bed. He hugged her closer upon feeling her silent sobs against him, but didn’t try to make any excuses.

“I’m so sorry, Shan,” he said.

“It’s all going to change between us now. It’ll be different,” she cried.

He rubbed her back slowly. “Just keep crying, it’s good to get it out,” he coaxed her. Tears continued to stream down her face, her upset breaths resonating against his chest. Eventually, her breathing began to equalize, quietly lulling Shannon into sleep. “I love you so much,” he whispered once he was certain she was asleep. “I’ll never stop loving you, Shannon.” He looked at the ceiling, unsure of how his future was going to play out. “Never.” And he kept repeating this to himself, like it was the only thing keeping him sane.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, in the name of Drunk, Naked Boone, Comment!

Tangled Youth

Chapter 23

“As you know, we’ve been reading a lot of books about family lately,” Boone’s American Literature teacher, Mrs. Davies announced on Friday. About half of the teachers at St. Gabriel’s were nuns, this one, thankfully wasn’t. In fact, she was probably one of the cooler teachers he had ever had in his high school career. “Most recently, East of Eden by Steinbeck.” She paused, waiting for a straggler to arrive in class. “But today I thought we might do a more informal discussion about family in general. And then I’ll have you write a short narrative about a family experience for homework. Does that sound good?”

“Yeah,” a few people said.

“Okay. Um, just to begin – a show of hands – how many of you are completely satisfied with your relationships with your family?” Boone kept his hand solidly in his lap. There was the mother he couldn’t stand, the absent father, the sister he couldn’t get out of his mind… Boone looked around the room and noticed that about a fifth of the class had their hands raised. “Huh. Alicia, what is it about your family, if you don’t mind sharing, that you aren’t satisfied with?”

“Well,” the girl squeaked. “My mom says I’m being rude to her all the time…” she whined. Boone tried not to roll his eyes.

“Okay,” Mrs. Davies nodded. “What about…” she stared at her lackluster class. “If no one raises their hand I’m going to have to pick on someone,” she warned. Boone tried to disappear into his chair. “Travis, why aren’t you satisfied with your family?”

“I dunno.” He shrugged. “Guess cuz my parents are divorced and I don’t see my mom much.”

“Oh,” Mrs. Davies said. “How many of you have divorced parents?” Boone, among others, raised his hand. “My parents got divorced when I was eleven. I had to decide whether to live with my mom or dad, and I decided to live with my mom, and because of that, I don’t have much of a relationship with my father. And in East of Eden, Cal and Aron aren’t very close with their mother, are they? Are any of you closer to one parent then the other? Show of hands again. If you’re closer to your mom than your dad, raise your hand.” Boone hesitated. But then he realized he wasn’t close to his mom – he had never been close to his mom. And he had seen his father once in his entire life. But his mother hadn’t ever been maternal with him. Or acted as if he were anything but a hassle. So Boone didn’t raise his hand. “Closer to fathers?” Boone kept his hand on the desk, hoping the teacher wouldn’t notice. “Boone, I noticed you didn’t raise your hand.” Shit.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m not close to either of my parents. I mean, I live with my mom, but we don’t really have much of a relationship.”

“And your dad?”

“I’ve only seen him once before,” Boone said stiffly.

“What?” Jerry, the annoying boy from summer school exclaimed. “Dude, you’ve seen him more than that, I’ve seen him with you before.”

“That’s my step-dad.” Boone told him, his face reddening. He hated being the center of attention.

“Shannon’s not really your sister?” Jerry continued.

“She’s my stepsister,” Boone said quietly.

“Oh, no wonder you don’t look anything alike.” Boone felt like socking Jerry in the face. “So, you’ve only seen your dad once? Geez.”

“Jerry, if you have something to say, please raise your hand. If Boone wants to elaborate, he will.”

“I don’t want to elaborate,” he looked at the floor, thinking of his father, and how his attempt to rebuild their relationship had failed. Boone spent the rest of the class period feeling detached, and didn’t contribute more to the discussion.

“Boone?” Mrs. Davies said to him as he started to leave the classroom when the bell rang.

“Yeah?”

“Um, I just wanted to know if you were okay. I’m sorry if I picked on you.”

“I’m fine,” he attempted a smile.

“Well, okay,” she said dubiously. “Have a nice weekend, Boone.”

“Boone,” she tried to steady her voice as he kissed her neck. “I was going to tell you, um,” she breathed. “Yesterday I was at the mall, and I saw your sister and her friend in um, the underwear section of Bloomingdales, and they were buying all of these lacy, skimpy things, and I was just standing there buying really average stuff, and… I felt like such a dork.”

Boone wondered why she was telling him this, but then realized that it was because she probably felt like she was in competition with Shannon or Anna (probably Anna, as most people weren’t in love with their sister). “You’re not a dork, Erin,” he said.

“Try saying that when you don’t have your hand up my shirt, why don’t you?” She pushed his hand away good-naturedly.

“Sorry,” he grimaced, and moved his hand so that he was holding hers. “Were they mean to you or something?”

“N – no,” she looked down. “It wasn’t that big of a deal, I’m overreacting.”

“Are you okay?” He asked, concerned, trying not to think of Shannon, and how she kept everything to herself when she was upset.

“I’m fine,” she said. To reassure him of this, she finished unbuttoning her shirt and carefully placed it on the nightstand. Boone took off his shirt, and pulled her close to him, kissing her gently. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and moved them up slowly to start to take off her bra. She moaned quietly, and murmured something in his ear about getting a condom. Boone nodded, letting her unzip his pants, and grabbed one out of his dresser drawer. Erin was always oddly squeamish about this, Boone had noticed. She scooted away from him and turned around, her eyes squinted shut, as he put it on, and would only turn around when Boone assured her it was “okay”.

“You almost done?” She asked, her hand covering one of her eyes.

“Yeah,” he said. Erin turned around, pressing her naked body into his. He kissed her again, and then ran his hand across her face. “You ready?”

“Yes,” she squeaked, her arms tightening around his waist. He entered her slowly, and Erin closed her eyes, pushing up against him. She moaned as he thrust in and out of her, digging her hands into his sides. They were so caught up in the moment that they didn’t hear the footsteps climbing up the stairs.

Before they knew what was happening, they heard a voice outside of the door. “Boone, guess what? I –” the door swung open, and standing there, was Shannon, wearing a pink leotard with a sweatshirt over it. “Holy shit,” she mustered, and her jaw dropped. “Oh my god! Ew!”

Boone was lost for words, not to mention completely and utterly humiliated. He could feel himself blushing, and Erin looked near tears. “Um,” she said, “Oh my gosh, this is so embarrassing. Oh my god, oh my god…” Boone still hadn’t said anything.

“H- how about knocking next time, huh, Shannon?” He tried to sound tough, but ended up sounding more like a constipated rodent. Erin moved, looking for some piece of clothing, or pillow to cover up with.

“Jesus, how about locking the door?” Shannon started, staring at Boone. Erin had been facing the window, but now that she had moved, Boone was almost completely exposed to Shannon. “Oh, god, ew.” She said again. “Fuck, ew!” She shut the door behind her, and it slammed with a satisfying crack.

Erin, meanwhile, looked extremely concerned, and her voice had a hitch in it. “I’m going to

leave now,” she squeaked. “That was… oh my goodness,” Erin bent over to pick her skirt off the floor. “I knew she was right, I knew it…” she said under her breath, putting on her underwear and her bra. Boone reached for his boxers, and started pulling them on.

“Knew who was right?” Boone said in a relatively normal tone. He grabbed his shirt from behind him. “Erin, you don’t have to leave… I mean, it’s my fault for not locking the door properly.”

“No, I need to go anyhow, it’s Friday, and on Friday, I have dinner with my grandma, remember?”

“Yeah – sorry, I knew that.” He had actually forgotten – memorizing Shannon’s extra-curricular activities had always been easier for him. “Who… uh, who was right?”

“Oh,” Erin said distractedly, buttoning her wrinkled shirt. “My mom.”

“Wait, what? What did you tell your mom?”

“Some people actually have conversations with their parents, Boone.”

“Erin, I know that! Geez, it’s not my fault, I know I forgot to lock the door and it was embarrassing, and that was my fault, but it’s not my fault that I don’t have a great relationship with my parents.”

“You don’t even have a relationship with your parents,” she scoffed, but then looked reprimanded. “I’m sorry, that was mean. Was that mean?”

Boone looked down. “My dad left us when my mom was still in the hospital, so you could say I don’t have a relationship with him, so yes, that was a little mean.”

“I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. That was an awful thing to say.”

“It’s okay,” he shrugged, pulling his shirt on over his head. “What did your mom say? About me?”

“Well…” she bit her lip in a Shannon-like gesture. “Please don’t be mad, Boone, but I told her about us… about us having sex,” she said the last word in a barely audible whisper. “And she got a little mad at first, but then she was okay. And we talked for a while, and she said that something bad would come out of it. And don’t you think, that what just happened was sort of a sign? That we shouldn’t be?”

“She just walked in on us, it was an accident,” Boone failed to see her point.

“Boone…” she shook her head in exasperation. “I like you, okay? I mean, I love you, but I just don’t know if I’m comfortable with being this physical all the time.”

“Okay,” he said. “If you don’t want to have sex, then we don’t have to.” The last thing he wanted to do was push her into something she didn’t want to do. Sure, he was a hormonal teenager, so he wasn’t exactly happy about it, but he wasn’t unhappy either.

“Really?” Erin looked surprised. “Wow, my mom said you would be upset.”

“Well, your mom is wrong.” Boone half-smiled at her.

Erin smiled back. “I’m glad she’s wrong.” She finished putting her shoes on. “Oh god, now I have to go downstairs and face Shannon. This is gonna be so embarrassing…”

“It’s just Shannon.”

“She kind of intimidates me.” Erin admitted.

“Believe me, she’s not intimidating. You should see her after she has a nightmare.”

“What does she do?” Oh, she climbs into my bed and sometimes makes out with me, Boone thought.

“She just gets really freaked out,” Boone responded.

“Well,” Erin said uncomfortably, “I guess I’d better go.”

“Should I walk you to the door?” Boone jumped off of the bed.

“Oh, no, that’s fine,” Erin said tightly. “Um, I’ll see you on Monday?”

“You sure you don’t want me to – “

“No, it’s okay!” She reassured him. “Bye.”

“Erin, come here,” he stood up, holding his arms out. “Hon, you’re not mad at me, are you?”

“I’m not mad at you. This is just awkward,” she clarified. Boone wrapped his arms around her to hug her tightly. Erin did the same, and kissed his lips softly before leaving the room.

After Boone took a shower, he went downstairs to get something to eat for dinner. Shannon was in the kitchen drinking a smoothie. “Please tell me you’re wearing clothes this time!” She squealed, her hands covering her eyes, as he approached the kitchen.

“No, Shan, I just came downstairs butt-naked to get some dinner,” he said facetiously. Shannon closed her eyes even tighter. “Yes, Shannon, I’m dressed.”

“Okay, good,” she tentatively opened her eyes. “Oh, I like that shirt on you,” she touched the shoulder of his gray-blue t-shirt. “It goes with your eyes.”

“Thank you,” Boone opened the refrigerator, looking for something to eat.

“No prob. So, what I was going to tell you, before I walked in on you screwing your girlfriend – “ Boone grimaced, “Is that I am now in the highest level of ballet class there is! And I might be able to help teach a kid’s class too next year!”

“Really?” Boone turned around, closing the refrigerator. “That’s amazing, Shan. I’m really, really proud of you.” Boone had always worried that Shannon would quit ballet, and then end up without a real interest, and fall into bad habits. And Boone had watched Shannon practice ballet, moving from size 1 pink ballet slippers to toe shoes as she grew older, since she had moved in. Without really thinking about what he was doing, Boone pulled Shannon into a hug, and she hugged back, nuzzling her head into his shoulder.

“Thanks, Boone,” she said sincerely. “I’m glad you’re proud of me. I told Gabe, but he didn’t really care as much.” She didn’t let go, sinking into his arms more.

“That’s because I’m your brother,” he kissed the top of her head, not sure what his words meant.

“Boone?” Shannon said. “Do you wanna rent a dumb chick flick and make some popcorn, and hang out tonight?”

“Uh… what about Anna? Or your boyfriend?” Boone didn’t want to sound too eager to watch Save the Last Dance, or something similar, at risk of being called gay, or seeming like he wanted to spend time with her too much.

“Anna can get annoying, as you well know,” Shannon murmured into his neck, still not letting go. “And Gabe is with his band tonight. So that leaves you, doesn’t it?”

“Aw, I guess,” he pulled back from the hug, finally. “And we’ve got nothing to eat, either. Wanna order some pizza?”

“Yeah,” she said softly, her hands still softly draped around his wrist.

“Are you okay?” Her touch was so gentle, so warm… he didn’t want her to let go.

“Me and Gabe just got in a fight today, that’s all.” She shrugged. “I’m going to go change into my pajamas.”

“Okay,” Boone told her. “Hawaiian pizza, right?” Boone and Shannon had little in common, but they both shared a love for Hawaiian flavored pizza, although Sabrina scolded them for having such “low-class” taste.

“Duh,” she cocked her head to the side, and started up the stairs. “Seriously, Boone,” she turned to face him. “Lock the door next time, okay?”

“I think I’ve learned my lesson.”

“I heard what Erin said, about not wanting to have sex anymore. Damn, she’s missing out.”

“What? You’ve never – “

“I’ve heard things from Anna, that’s for damn sure. Everyday she has some new insight on your bedroom abilities.”

“Great,” Boone rolled his eyes. He hoped Anna’s insights hadn’t included anything about Boone’s accidental slip when he had called her Shannon.

“I mean, it’s almost like I’ve had sex with you.”

“Oh, god, Shannon, shut up,” he grimaced. But Shannon just winked and flitted up the stairs. Boone wondered… were her regular sexual comments towards him meaningless, or did it mean that she wanted him too? It was thoughts like these that kept Boone awake every night.

 

Tangled Youth

Chapter 24

Now that Shannon was in the highest level of ballet, she danced five days a week – Boone knew that she had techniques class on Monday and Tuesday, a stretching class on Wednesday, point on Thursday, and performance workshop from nine-thirty to one-thirty on Sunday mornings. Shannon had always liked to dance, and when she was younger, she would often call in Boone and her father to watch her give makeshift performances in her bedroom set to Spice Girls songs. Of course, to a normal eleven year old boy, this was ridiculous, but it gave Boone an unexplainable warm feeling throughout his body watching” his sister smiling freely and skipping around the room.

Now, though, he rarely ever got to watch her dance. She had dance performances every once in a while, but she had a habit of never telling anyone when they were being held. Boone wondered why sometimes, was it because she was ashamed of what she loved? Or had she just assumed they didn’t care? The last show of hers he had gone to, he bought her a dozen roses, yellow, so they seemed platonic, and Shannon had acted embarrassed and played it down, but Boone caught the reluctant smile apparent on her face right before she turned around to talk to her friends.

It was a Wednesday night, and Boone was finishing his European History homework on the couch as the clock approached 6:15, which was about the time she got home. Sure enough, a few minutes later, Shannon walked in, mumbled hello, and went upstairs to take a shower. Boone wasn’t disappointed by her lackluster greeting – he was used to it.

Ten minutes later, Shannon came back downstairs, and sat on the couch next to him, rolling her neck around in a circle. “Shan,” he said. “You stole my pajamas, and you’re dragging them on the floor.”

“Shut up,” she replied. “All mine were dirty.”

“Yeah, all your clothes are pretty dirty,” he smiled at his own joke.

“Funny, Boone,” she said sarcastically. She looked over Boone’s shoulder at the textbook in his lap. “What are you doing?”

“Reading questions,” he replied. “What are you doing?”

“I’m reading over your shoulder,” she giggled. Could she be any more adorable, Boone thought. “What does it look like I’m doing?”

“I dunno. I kinda thought you were genuinely interested in the Dark Ages.”

“I’m genuinely interested in you,” she said nonchalantly. Boone wondered what she meant by that? “So, therefore, I’m interested in what you’re doing.”

“Why are you being so nice, Shan?” He said suspiciously, flashing her a sideways grin.

“Why are you being so mean?” She scooted a little closer to him, breathing against his neck. “Ow!” She suddenly said, grabbing her shoulder. “I pulled a muscle in stretching today.”

“You okay, Shannon?” He looked up, and began to stand. “Want me to get you some – “ Advil, he would have said, but Shannon grabbed his arm, sitting him back down.

“No, Boone, stay here. Give me a backrub, maybe you can get the crick out?” She asked, biting her lip.

“Okay,” he said hesitantly, afraid of touching her. Afraid that the magnetic electricity between them would be too much too handle. “You wanna, uh, turn so I can reach you?”

She turned, breathing in and out, and nodded, coaxing him to start. Boone touched her, and he could feel the warmth of her skin through the tank top she was wearing. He looked down to see his long plaid pajamas dragging on the floor, and shook his head. Shannon had always stolen Boone’s clothes to sleep in, as if her clothes were too worthy to for it. Boone never complained. Boone squeezed the side of her collarbone softly. “There?” He asked quietly.

“Nuh uh, closer to my shoulder blade,” she shook her head. Boone touched the back of her neck, then the first few vertebrae in her spine, then to the left, towards her shoulder blade. “Oh,” she whispered. “That’s good.” He pressed into her skin, and rubbed up and down her back slowly, wondering. In bed, Shannon was all suppressed sighs and whispers of “that’s good”, like she had just said now. He tried to chase the thought out of his head, but it wouldn’t budge. He ran his hands down her spine, massaging her shoulders deeply. She sighed, a fluttering, airy sigh that motivated him to massage the crick out with increasing vehemence. “Mmmm,” she responded.

Shannon and Boone were like that, always taking things a little too far- touching too much, hugging too long, and rubbing her back with too much passion. It all bordered on inappropriate, but there wasn’t quite enough proof of its wrongness to be a source of concern, right? Boone exhaled against her neck, and she shivered, arching her back as he pressed into her shoulder just right. “That good?”

“P-perfect,” she had her eyes closed. Boone instantly took advantage of the new skin, letting his fingers make tiny imprints in her back. He knew he was getting in too deep, and that he was doing this for much too long, but there was something that wouldn’t let him pull away just yet. “Hey, Boone?”

“Uh huh,” he kneaded the skin from her shoulders.

“I have some math homework I don’t understand, and – “ she shuddered. “Could you maybe help me with it after this?” This directly translated to do my homework for me. Then Shannon moaned.

“Yeah, sure, whatever, Shan,” he answered eagerly. Shannon started untying her wet hair from its hair tie.

“You’re right on the part I pulled Boone, just press in a little deeper, and – mmm! You got it,” she announced. “Just a little longer, now.” Boone dared to knead a little harder, rhythmically massaging and caressing her skin. “That’s good,” she said in a conclusive manner. But Boone was having a little more difficulty stopping. The relationship between his hand and her back was truly magnetic, there was no other word for it. His brain knew this was wrong, and that he shouldn’t be touching his sister like this, especially when he was still with Erin, but thoughts like these hadn’t stopped him before. “Or you could… keep going,” she sighed. “Yeah, like that,” he tickled his hand down her spine. She moved her head back so that her cheek was against Boone’s. She sighed again, rolling her head in a half circle. “Boone…” she whispered, as if she was facilitating something. Did she want him to kiss her? No, they couldn’t.

“Shan,” he said softly, his hand tangled in her hair. “We can’t let it happen again, remember?” She nodded listlessly, coaxing him to continue. “No, Shannon, I’m going to stop now. I’m going to pull away,” he tried to do what he was saying, slowly untangling his hand, and moving his other hand from supporting the side of her waist. Finally, Shannon willed herself to move away, and she stood up quickly.

“Thanks,” she said briskly, almost coldly. “So, what do you know about inverse functions?”

It was the following Tuesday afternoon, and there were four medium-sized envelopes in front of him on the coffee table. Sabrina was standing behind them, looking intimidating and serious in a black Armani suit. “So,” she was saying. “Be prepared for failure, I don’t want you getting your hopes up.”

“Thanks, mom,” he half-smiled, but he was too nervous to say anything else. He had placed the envelopes side by side on the transparent glass table, each from different colleges – UC Berkeley, UCLA, USC, and NYU. “Which should I open first?”

“Berkeley, you won’t get in. You didn’t do enough community service.”

“Mom – “

“I just don’t want you to get your hopes up,” she reasoned. “Open it. It looks thin, that probably means you’ve been rejected.” Just then, Shannon walked in, oblivious.

“What’s going on?” She sat down next to Boone, slightly breathless from ballet. Then she saw the envelopes. “Oh.”

“Shannon, maybe you should give your step-brother some space,” Sabrina suggested.

“No, Mom, it’s fine.” He certainly appreciated her presence more than his mother’s.

“Open it, Boone,” Shannon squeezed his arm comfortingly. “You get really good grades, so I think you’ll get in. They’d be crazy not to let you.” Boone tore open the Berkeley envelope, and, closing his eyes tightly, took out the packet inside of it. “Oh no!” She exclaimed. He opened his eyes. Shannon put her chin on Boone’s shoulder. “It’s okay, I’m sure you’ll get into the other ones,” she soothed him.

Sabrina bore her eyes into Boone. “Well, it was a long shot anyway,” she said briskly. “Let me see it,” she sat down between Boone and Shannon, breaking them apart. “Thank you for applying to University of California at Berkeley…” she announced. “doesn’t matter, doesn’t matter… unfortunately we cannot offer you acceptance… I knew you should have volunteered at that retirement home.”

“Sabrina,” Shannon cut in, sitting on the other side of her so that she was next to Boone again. “It’s not Boone’s fault that it’s competitive to get into.” She rubbed into his arm again, and Boone shut his eyes, trying to keep from touching her back. “I think it’s good you tried, Boone.” She looked maliciously at Sabrina, and, for good measure, gave Boone a kiss on the cheek. His skin stung and burned from where her lips had been.

“Shannon, don’t,” Sabrina said ineffectually. “Open the next one, Boone.”

Boone slowly opened the envelope for UCLA. A thicker packet fell out. “I got in,” he said, reading the first page. “I got in!” But he couldn’t say anything after that because he was engulfed in a hug by his mother and Shannon. His mother never hugged him, so it was especially awkward. But Shannon hung all over him all the time, not that Sabrina knew that. “I knew you’d get in!” Shannon exclaimed. “And this way, you’ll be nearby so I can visit a lot!”

“Thanks, Shan,” he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. “But I have two more envelopes to open.”

“You’re not seriously considering going to New York, are you?” She asked softly, her body still pressed against his side. Actually, he had been. In fact, it was his first choice.

“Um,” he said, and ripped open the USC one to postpone the tension. “I got in to USC…” he tried. Sabrina beamed, but Shannon just shrugged.

“That’s good,” she smiled weakly. “Open the other one.” She handed Boone the thick white envelope, and Boone took it from her, his hands shaking slightly. He tentatively tore open the seal.

“Uh,” he read the first page of the packet. “We are… we are… We are pleased to offer you acceptance to New York University.” His heart felt like it was sinking and lifting at the same time. He was ecstatic that he had gotten into such a prestigious school, thrilled at the thought of leaving the world of blonde surf-bums behind, but the girl sunk into his shoulder put a dent into those feelings.

“Boone,” she said. “You’re not, I mean… do you wanna go there?” But Sabrina interrupted her before Boone could answer.

“I’ve always wanted you to go to college on the East Coast. It would be good for you, to get a taste of the other side of the country, and there’s many programs there that could – “

“Boone!” Shannon whined. “You can’t go to the other side of the country and – “

“Shannon, let him think. Boone, all three choices are good schools. But if you want to do anything in business, which I, frankly, would suggest, then there are many more large scale corporations in New York, and – “ Sabrina cut in.

“Sabrina, stop trying to convince him! If he doesn’t want to go, he doesn’t have to! Right, Boone?” Shannon sounded weak, and it almost made Boone want to reconsider. “Boone?”

“Boone?” Sabrina asked expectantly. “What do you think? You have an allotted amount of time to decide, I think it says on the – “ she grabbed the page from Boone’s hands.

“Sabrina! He wants to stay here!” Her attention switched back to Boone, “There’s nice weather, and there’s your family, and there’s me… Boone, you wouldn’t leave me, would you?” Boone bit his lip. He loved her so much, but he didn’t think he would ever get the same kind of love back, though she was being unnaturally compassionate right now, and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to change his life goals, and stay in California when all he wanted was to leave. And maybe if he did, he would be able to stifle the inappropriate feelings he had for her.

“Boone, respond!” Sabrina commanded. “This isn’t the behavior of someone who got what you did on the SAT!” Boone refrained from pointing out that that was because she had paid for over a thousand dollars of SAT prep.

“Um,” he had no idea how to respond. “I don’t really know what to say. I mean, I want to go to NYU, but… I mean, it’s far, and… you know, it’s far.” Shannon started to stand up, sighing audibly.

“I can’t believe you!” She exclaimed, tears welling up in her eyes. “God, Boone, I can’t fucking believe you! You’re supposed to care about me! What am I going to do without you?” She sobbed.

“Shan, I’m really, really sorry. It’s not final, and we – “ Boone struggled to comfort her. It was the most awful feeling, having her this angry with him. He deserved to be punished, he decided, for making his beautiful, amazing, wonderful little sister cry.

“I don’t even have a reason to believe anything you tell me!” She yelled. “I hate you!” And on that note, she ran up the stairs, and all Boone could hear was the ferocious slam of the door to her room seconds later.

“Don’t let that girl manipulate you into compromising what you want, Boone.” Sabrina said icily, as if she understood everything that was happening in Boone’s brain. “Congratulations,” she finished coldly, her words dripping with disdain. But Boone was still thinking about what Shannon had said. Hate, it was the exact opposite of how Boone felt. And while he knew it was temporary, the word still punctured his skin, and ran through his bloodstream like a lethal drug.

 

Tangled Youth

Chapter 25

Shannon hadn’t spoken to Boone in four days. But Sabrina certainly had, lecturing him and encouraging him to go to New York. And even though Shannon’s glares and silence was difficult to bear, Sabrina convinced him that she would come around. On the fourth day, Boone was sitting at the kitchen table, the registration form for NYU in front of him, as he ate breakfast, when Shannon came in.

“You’re going, aren’t you? You’re going to NYU?” Her voice sounded breezy, detached, but her tone was strained, like there was something more beneath it. She was wearing a bathrobe, and her hair was in a messy bun, and her eyes appeared watery, her eyelashes clumped together from mascara she had forgotten to take off the night before. Still, Boone couldn’t remember a time when she had looked like she had needed him more.

“I’ll still visit,” was all he could muster. “I’m sorry, I really am sorry, but I really need a change of environment. I’ve lived in Southern California my whole life, and –“

“Save it, okay? If I cared I would have said something by now!”

Boone sighed. He knew she cared, but he also knew that he deserved this. “Okay, Shan, but sooner or later you’ll have to forgive me. And even if I’m on the other side of the country, we’ll still be brother and sister and we’ll still be close. I promise, and you can visit over breaks and everything.”

“Thanks, but I need to get to ballet. And I won’t be home until late because I’ll be at Gabe’s house. Actually, could you tell Sabrina I’m staying over at Anna’s? I might not make it back ‘till morning.” Shannon said coolly, purposely trying to provoke him.

“You’re a slut,” he said, trying to be angry.

“You’re a selfish bastard,” she said back. “And stupid. You know you only got in to all those schools because of Sabrina’s connections.”

“Well, you only have a boyfriend because you’ll do things with him that no one else is slutty enough to do!” He didn’t mean it, but he had heard one of Gabe’s friends say that in the locker room. He had clenched his fists at the time, ready to punch Gabe into oblivion, but now it seemed like the perfect comeback. But he knew it was cruel, and the brief victory of what he had said wore off before he had even finished the sentence. Shannon blinked, and her mouth twisted slightly.

“Wh- who told you – “ but she recovered quickly. “Whatever. I’m above your stupid made-up insults, you’re just a selfish coward, and I hate you. I mean it, you make me sick!” And with that, she turned on her heel and exited the kitchen.

“Shannon, wait!” He tried to stop her, but she was already gone. Boone knew that he was making the right decision, and he knew that Shannon would get over it, but her anger still made Boone uneasy. Still, he picked up his pen and began to sign the paper.

The next day, a balmy Sunday, he invited Erin over to tell her about his decision. Also, he felt as if he’d been neglecting her lately. He knew he should want to spend time with her, and not just out of obligation, but that was the problem with starting a relationship with someone because she looked like Shannon. But, he reasoned with himself, he and Erin shared more interests – the same music taste, similar political views, and he enjoyed being with her. He must be in love with her, right? Not as much as he loved Shannon, but he would never love anyone as much as Shannon.

When Erin arrived at the door, he enveloped her in a warm hug, and she reciprocated with pleasure. “I’ve missed you lately,” she pulled back. “So, guess where I went this morning?”

“Where?” He played along, having no idea what she was talking about.

“Well, I went to church for the first time in months, and I really, you know, like, felt connected to what the priest was saying. I mean, I’ve really been missing out.”

“Oh.” Boone had absolutely no idea how to respond to this, or the cross necklace she was wearing. “Are you… Protestant?”

“No, I’m Catholic,” she said earnestly. “That means I get to do confessions and everything. I did one today, actually,” she looked down. “And what we talked about on Friday? I’m going to stick with that decision.”

Boone looked at her guiltily. “Um, are you like, going to Hell because of me?”

“I hope not,” she smiled. “So, you said you had to tell me something? I have something… well, something else, to tell you, too.”

“Okay,” he said agreeably, not sure what to make of her new found Catholicism. “Come on in,” he led her to the kitchen. “Want something to drink?”

“Sure, I could have some water.” But when Boone arrived in the kitchen, he was surprised to find Shannon in there. She still wasn’t speaking to him. Well, she was, but nothing particularly nice came out of her mouth when she did, indeed, speak.

“Hey, Erin,” Shannon rolled her eyes. “You here so he can tell you the big news?” Shannon brushed past Boone, and opened the refrigerator. “Get out of the way, asshole.” She muttered to him. Boone didn’t move. It wasn’t his fault he wanted to go to the school of his choice.

“Shannon, quit trying to make me feel guilty, because I have nothing to be guilty about!” Except leaving my baby sister to move across the country, he thought. And he did feel guilty, even if he shouldn’t. But she was his responsibility, and he was her rock, apparently, and each glare Shannon shot him was another reason for him to stay in California.

“Boone, what’s going on?” Erin asked suspiciously. “Why should you be guilty?” Shannon smirked, taking a Diet soda out of the refrigerator and sitting on the kitchen counter, her tiny pleated skirt riding up in the thighs. Boone tried desperately not to notice the new skin. But, despite his efforts, his eyes grazed over her smooth legs appreciatively. His eyes seemed magnetized to her body. Shannon crossed her legs, turning away, and Erin looked at Boone expectantly. “Boone?” She wrinkled her nose. “I’m talking to you?”

“Sorry, Erin,” he tore his eyes from Shannon. “Um, so I needed to tell you, um – “ Erin looked at Shannon, and back to Boone. “Oh! Shannon, could you maybe give Erin and I a minute?”

“Whatever,” she said coolly, but she touched the side of his shirt as she left the room. Erin smiled sickeningly at both Shannon and Boone, but it was rather ill-humored.

“So?” Erin asked expectantly.

“Well, I got my college acceptance and rejection letters, and I was accepted into NYU, and, even though it’s a big move, I think I’m going to go.”

“That’s great!” She exclaimed. “Oh my god – I mean, gosh!” She gave Boone a huge hug. “Guess what? I’m going to college in Oregon! At University of Oregon! I thought you’d be really upset, but you’re going away too, so, it’s perfect!”

“Yeah, I guess it is,” Boone smiled, relieved that her reaction was at the opposite end of the spectrum as Shannon’s. “So, where does this, um… put our relationship? Do you wanna just play it by ear?”

“Okay,” she said somberly. “Let’s just stay together until the end of the summer and then see where we are then.”

“Good,” he nodded. “So, you wanna go get some lunch?”

After lunch, Boone called his friend Kevin to tell him about his college choice. “So, I’m going to NYU,” he told him.

“Dude, are you serious? I’m going to like, California State Hayward or whatever. You must be really smart, man,” he responded. “So, how’s life? Besides that?”

“Well, Erin’s decided to be all Catholic now.” Boone said.

“Does that mean no more sex? Dude, that sucks. Were you that bad?” He instantly assumed.

“What?”

“I mean, were you that bad in bed to make her want to not screw you?”

“I hadn’t thought of it that way,” Boone said slowly. But remembering how Anna had raved about his bedroom abilities to Shannon that one night, Boone didn’t think this was a serious possibility. “I don’t think so, though.”

“Yeah, neither do I. I was talking to Anna about it a few days ago, it just sort of came up.” Kevin said.

“Why were you talking to Anna? Are you guys friends?” As far as Boone was concerned, they hadn’t ever spoken.

“Well, uh… that’s what I was going to tell you. I hope it’s okay. But, last weekend, I kind of ran into her, and we ended up hooking up.” Kevin confessed. “Is that okay?”

“Um,” Boone tried to stifle a laugh. He should be jealous, but he was actually vaguely amused. “Yeah, sure.”

“Well, that’s good. The girl is hot.” Kevin sighed.

“Well, good luck. She’s well aware of that fact.” She’ll sleep with anything that moves, he elaborated in his mind.

“Yeah… So, good about the college thing. But I gotta go. See you,” Kevin said, sounding relieved. “Bye.”

Boone hung up. He should be more excited about moving, or apprehensive, or feel something, but all he could dwell on was that Shannon wasn’t talking to him. What if they never spoke again? They fought all the time, but what if this fight was… more? Boone sighed, trying to think more positive thoughts, but his thoughts were interrupted shortly after when his mother and Adam arrived home, announcing that they were going out for dinner. Well, this is going to put the din in dinner, he thought, anticipating a screaming match initiated by Shannon.

Chapter 20

Erin’s house was a creamy yellow, and didn’t sprawl halfway across the block. The front yard was covered in grass, but it wasn’t the kind of grass that looked like it had been manicured to perfection for hours. In the yard, there was a little plastic tricycle on its side, so Boone supposed Erin had a little sister. He stepped over the tricycle and to the front porch, ringing the doorbell. He was surprised that he was so nervous, but he really wanted her to like him.

A middle-aged woman with sandy-blonde hair opened the door. “Hi, you must be Boone!” she said. “I’m Erin’s mom, you can call me Susan. Erin will be down in a second.” Just then, Erin came out of her bedroom.

“Hey,” she smiled at Boone. She was wearing a light blue shirt, a denim skirt, and sandals.

“Hey,” he said back.

“So, I see you’ve met my mom. Mom, this is Boone, Boone, this is my mom Susan.”

“Hi,” he said to Boone’s mom.

“So,” Erin started. “You wanna get going?”

“Sure. What kind of food are you in the mood for?”

“Whatever you want,” she said agreeably, leading Boone to the door. “Bye, Mom!” She called as she closed the door.

“Have fun!” Her mom called after.

“Sorry about my mom,” Erin blushed after they had reached the driveway. “She can be a little –“

“She seems really nice,” Boone said earnestly. He wished that his mom contained even an ounce of Erin’s mom effortless affability.

“Oh, okay,” Erin looked surprised. “Cool. So, where are we going?”

“I thought we’d go to this diner by the pier. They have chicken and hamburgers and salads and stuff like that.”

“Sounds good!” She chirped. Boone held the car door open for her as she stepped inside the car. “Thank you!”

“You’re welcome,” he answered, sitting on his side of the car, putting on his seat belt, and turning on the ignition. “So, one week of summer school down.”

“Yeah, I know. It wouldn’t be that bad if those guys Jerry and Fred weren’t in it, though.”

“Guess not. Most people at our school aren’t that bad. It’s just that it’s summer school.”

“That’s what I suspected. So, what else are you doing this summer?”

“Um,” Boone stopped at a stoplight. “I’m doing this internship at my mom’s company. And I just got back from Australia.”

“Oh, wow!” she exclaimed. “That sounds really fun, where did you go?”

“We all went to Sydney, and then me and Shannon and my step-dad went to the Great Barrier Reef.”

“Shannon?” Erin wrinkled her nose in confusion.

“Oh, that’s my sister.” He corrected himself. Somehow, he had just assumed that Erin knew who she was.

“So your parents are divorced? You have a stepfather”

“Yeah,” he answered.

She seemed to sense that he didn’t really want to talk about it. “Are we listening to Bright Eyes?” She referred to what was currently wafting from the car stereo.

“Yeah,” he smiled. “You know them?”

“Yeah, I love them, but I’m surprised you’ve heard of them. Not many people have, especially in LA. I grew up in Oregon. We move around a lot.”

“Oh. So, do you have a little sister? I saw a tricycle in your yard.”

“Yeah, my baby sister Marie.” She grinned. “She’s three. She’s so cute.”

“I used to wish I had a baby brother or sister.”

“You have a little sister,” she pointed out. Yeah, but it’s not exactly the same when you want to have sex with said sister, he thought.

“Yeah, but she’s only a year and a half younger than me.”

“Do you guys get along?” She asked as Boone pulled into the parking area of their destination.

“Usually. We’re pretty close, I guess. But we also fight about everything.”

”I see,” replied Erin, getting out of the car and smoothing out her skirt. “So she goes to St. Gabriel’s as well?”

“Yeah,” Boone said, leading Erin towards the restaurant. After they had been seated and looked at the menus, they ordered.

“Okay,” said the waitress, who looked like she had received numerous amounts of Botox and dyed her hair bleach blonde just a few too many times, finishing writing down their orders. “Here, I’ll take that, honey,” she said to Boone, whisking away his menu. Boone wasn’t quite sure, but he could have sworn he saw the waitress wink at him before leaving.

Erin laughed. “So is it just me, or was she flirting with you?” She whispered.

“I hope not,” he answered, petrified. “She was like fifty!”

Erin giggled. “Well, I think she has good taste.”

“Thanks,” Boone smiled, and let himself look at Erin, with her perfect blonde hair and brown eyes, just like Shannon’s. Erin tucked her hair behind her ear and looked away for a second, alerting Boone of her discomfort. “Sorry.” He muttered.

“It’s okay!” She exclaimed. “So, you live on my street, right?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Like ten houses from your house.”

“What color is it?”

“White with a dark gray roof. Green shutters.”

“Oh! I know which one you’re talking about! That house is gigantic!”

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

“Isn’t there like a built-in tennis court?”

“No,” Boone shook his head good-naturedly. “But we have a pool.”

“Awesome. We don’t have a pool, but we did in San Diego.”

“Well, you can come over and swim in our pool whenever you want. We don’t use it as much as we should. My sister usually just lies next to it on the lawn chair tanning. Sometimes we swim, though.” He imagined Shannon in her new swimsuit she had shown him the other day. She had swam in it the day before, and he had watched her from his bedroom when she emerged from the pool, soaking wet and freezing cold as the fabric stuck to her body. He desperately tried to get the image out of his head.

“I might just have to take you up on that offer,” she said. “I love swimming.”

“What?” Boone said, distracted. “Oh, here’s our food.” Erin tried to maintain a straight face when the waitress smiled secretively at Boone while serving him his hamburger. Boone blushed noticeably, staring at the plate as if it were the most fascinating thing on earth. When she left, Erin burst into giggles. Boone watched her futilely attempt to contain herself, trying to disguise her laughter for a hysterical fit of coughing into her napkin.

“So,” she said after she had stopped laughing. “Do middle-aged women often hit on you?”

“Yeah,” he said sarcastically. “It’s a huge problem.”

She laughed. “You know, when I first saw you I thought you’d be a dumb jock. But I like you better now that I know you a little.”

“Well, if I was able to play sports, I probably would be a jock.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I sort of lack… er, essential sporting qualities. Like the ability to shoot a basket.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Can you serve a tennis ball?”

“Yeah, somewhat.” His mother had made him spend time as a child in the country club she belonged to, and had convinced Boone that it was a skill crucial to survival in the corporate world.

“Well, we should play tennis sometime, then,” she smiled.

“Yeah, we should. How’s the salad?” He gestured to her chicken Caesar salad.

“It’s good, thanks. You wanna try some?”

“Sure,” He tentatively took his fork and took a bite of her salad. “It’s pretty good. Want some of my hamburger?”

“That’s okay,” she was still smiling.

“What?” He said playfully.

“Nothing,” she looked away, the smile still stuck to her face.

“You’re so cute,” he accidentally said out loud. “I mean – “

“Thanks,” she said cheerfully, stealing a French fry from Boone’s plate. “So, tell me more about yourself. What are your hobbies?”

That was good question. There were many things that he somewhat enjoyed doing, but nothing that he was truly passionate about. “Sometimes I run… I like to swim.”

“Do you read?”

“Yeah, I like to read.”

“What kinds of books?”

“I like a lot of the old science fiction books. And just the popular books. Like the bestsellers. And of course, classic stuff like 1984 and Watership Down and stuff.”

“That’s the one about the bunnies, right?”

“Yeah.”

“It sort of reminded me of Animal Farm.”

“I liked it better than Animal Farm, though.”

“Me too.” Boone looked at Erin’s empty plate.

“Are you done?”

“Yeah, just about. You?”

“Yeah. You wanna get dessert? There’s this ice cream place about a block from here that we could walk to.”

“That sounds good,” she replied. After they had gotten the bill (Boone paid, following the unwritten laws of dating) and left the building, they started to walk to the ice cream place.

From the outside of the store, Boone saw two familiar faces inside. “Weird…” he started.

“What?”

“My sister and her friend are in there.” He prayed that Anna wouldn’t say anything overtly embarrassing, and that Erin wouldn’t notice that she looked exactly like Shannon.

“Oh, okay,” she shrugged. “C’mon.” Boone followed her into the store.

“Boone!” Anna waved them towards their table. “Shan, look, it’s Boone! What are you doing here?” Boone hesitated, but Erin obviously did not understand why this was so awkward. Shannon half-smiled at them. “Hi!” Anna exclaimed to Erin. “Who are you?”

“Uh,” Boone’s manners came back. “This is Erin, we’re on a date, and this is my sister, Shannon,” he waved in their general area. “And this is her friend, Anna.” Boone added, looking at the ground, “She’s also my ex girlfriend.”

“Oh, okay. Hi, Shannon.” She held out her hand to shake Anna’s. Oh god, thought Boone.

Anna looked amused. “Oh god,” she voiced what Boone was thinking. “Ew.”

“What?” Erin looked as if she had soiled someone’s family honor.

“Oh,” Boone said. “It’s just that Anna’s the friend, not the sister.”

“I’m the sister,” Shannon finally said something. “Hi, Erin.” She held out her hand. This was moment where Shannon would decide whether or not she liked Erin, and Boone squinted, trying to read his sister’s expression. “Cute shoes!” She said. Boone breathed a sigh of relief. “We were heading to a party and decided to get something to eat first.”

“Sorry, I’m still getting these really disturbing thoughts about us being siblings. Seriously! Ew, much?” Anna continued. “Fuck, that would be gross. I mean, remember when –“

“Anna!” Boone reprimanded, right as Shannon kicked her under the table.

“I mean, remember when you’re having fun on your date?” She tried to rephrase what she had said before unsuccessfully. “I mean, have fun!”

“Thanks!” Erin chirped, and turned towards the board that listed the ice cream flavors. “What kind of ice cream are you getting, Boone?”

“Rocky road,” he heard Shannon say under her breath.

“Rocky road,” Boone told Erin. He wanted to get out of that ice cream place fast, before something even more humiliating happened.

Eventually, they did make it out of the store alive, and they walked leisurely back to the car down the street, comfortably eating their ice cream. When they reached the car, it was getting cold, and Erin, who wasn’t wearing a sweater, started to shiver. “Here,” he took off his jacket and gave it to Erin.

“Thank you,” she replied, putting it on. “Ooooh, it smells like laundry soap.” She commented.

Erin sat in the car, and Boone closed her door, walking around to the other side of the car and sitting down himself. He backed out of the parking lot. “You can look through my CDs if you want and pick something to listen to.”

“Thanks,” she picked up his CD case and flipped through it. A few minutes later, Boone heard the familiar opening lines of his favorite Bright Eyes song waft through the car. When they reached her house, Boone opened her door for her again (girls seemed to really appreciate that, he noticed, and walked her to the door.

“So,” he said as she fumbled with her keys. “That was fun.”

“Yeah, it was.” She stepped closer to him. He moved even closer, until their lips were almost touching.

“So I think we’re supposed to kiss now,” he murmured.

“Yeah, I think so, too.” Her voice was just above a whisper. Boone kissed her on the lips, and she kissed back, pulling away tastefully after a few seconds. She smiled.

“I’ll call you,” he said. “Bye.”

“Bye, Boone. Have a good weekend.”

“See you in hell on Monday!” He started walking back towards his car.

“I look forward to it!” She laughed, and walked inside of her house. Boone sat back in the car, and started the ten second drive home. If I had a real father, he thought, I’d tell him about the date. But he didn’t have a real father, so he went back to an empty house and fell asleep while reading in bed.

The next morning, Boone was sitting at the kitchen table, eating cereal. Shannon shuffled in, wearing her boy short underwear and a big t-shirt. He could tell that she was getting something to eat as well, because he heard the sounds of cereal clinking against the sleek white porcelain of the bowl. She headed to the refrigerator, and put milk in her cereal. She reached the table, looked around for a moment, and then plopped down in Boone’s lap.

“Uh, Shannon?” He said. “What are you doing?”

“Someone did something with the other chair,” She replied, gesturing towards the lack of chairs at the table. She slurped some milk off of her spoon gracefully. “So, how was your date last night? Hannah was pretty.”

“It’s Erin.”

“Oh, right, well, Erin was pretty.”

“Yeah. It went well. Surprisingly well.”

“Well that’s good.” Shannon said, settling herself into Boone’s lap. “The party was crap. I had to save Anna’s ass from the lands of alcohol-induced coma.”

“That’s nice,” Boone said sarcastically. “All in a day’s work, huh?”

“Yeah. What kind of cereal are you eating?” She looked at Boone’s bowl. “Raisin bran,” she shook her head. “It’s all about the Fruit Loops, Boone.” She shoved a spoonful of it towards Boone’s mouth.

“I don’t want your damn cereal,” his voice was strained. This was so uncomfortable. He either wanted to take her cereal and throw it on the floor and then push her against the wall and make out with her and touch her all over until she could barely breathe, or he wanted to eat his cereal in peace. There was nothing in between that sounded at all appealing.

“Fine, health freak.” Just then, Sabrina walked in.

“What’s going on?” Sabrina squinted her eyes.

“Don’t have a cow, Sabrina, there wasn’t another chair here, so I just sat here.” Shannon explained nonchalantly.

“Shannon, can I talk to you?” She replied dangerously.

“Oh, come on, it’s not a big deal!” Sabrina looked livid. “Oh, fine.” After they left the room, Boone strained to hear what they were saying in vain.

“What happened?” He asked when she came back, looking at the floor.

“Nothing,” she sat flatly, dragging a chair from the other room to the table. “She said to stop… I don’t know. She just said not to… what was the word? Uh, tease you, or something.” She shrugged, but her eyes looked like her feelings had been hurt.

“You okay?” He asked.

“I’m fine,” she smiled wanly, and took another bite of her soggy Fruit Loops. Was Sabrina catching on? Boone had a feeling that she might be, from the jealous, biting looks she gave them when they were happy, when they were joking around… but maybe he was just being paranoid. And Boone was pretty sure that Sabrina would like Erin. Maybe then she’d realize that Boone wasn’t interested in Shannon in that way. He smiled uncertainly, not even believing his own thoughts.

Please comment, and tell me what you especially liked or didn’t like! Thanks!

Tangled Youth

Chapter 16

Over the next few months, Boone put all of his energy into schoolwork. Somehow, he managed to fill his mind with formulas, historical battles, classic literature, and names of chemicals containing ridiculous amounts of syllables. With no girlfriend, barely any friends, and his family barely ever present, it was easy to bear all his concentration into books and tests and projects. It was almost like he was back in middle school again, except he still managed to scrape by on the social hierarchy because of his good looks.

Then there was Shannon. Her life had split into two categories – ballet and boys. With the ballet half came her eating disorder, most of her friends, and stress, and the boy half of her life also included constant partying, obsession with her looks, shopping, and flirting with everything that moved. As the months grew warmer, Shannon took advantage of the weather by wearing skimpier and skimpier clothes – by the beginning of June, she spent most of her free time in a bikini by the pool, working on her tan with Anna. Boone had expected any exchange between him and Anna to be extremely awkward, but it actually seemed pretty normal. It helped, of course, that he wasn’t jealous of whatever new boy she was hanging on each week, unlike the boys who Shannon dated.

Whenever Boone saw Shannon kissing, or hugging, or even laughing with a guy, a deep, intense feeling of jealousy pervaded through his entire body, and he had to clench his fists or force his mind to think of something else when he witnessed this. It hardly ever worked, and in the middle of reading Shakespeare or while taking a quiz in pre-calculus, her name would pop into his head, and his fingers would burn with pent-up anger as he thought of whatever guy she was hooking up with. What were they doing, exactly? He’d ponder, obsessing about it for hours when he tried to sleep. Or does he make her do things she doesn’t want to, he would think in the early hours of the morning, when he sat at the kitchen table waiting for her to get home from whatever party she was currently attending.

Also, his relationship with his mother wasn’t faring especially well – she was constantly suspicious of him, even though Boone hadn’t done anything wrong. Whenever he wasn’t doing anything “productive”, she would force him into trying a new activity – the suggestion of trying to be a lifeguard again fell flat, he would never, ever, attempt that again. But she had also pressured him into interning at her company,so he’d let his mind wander as he filed forms or delivered notices to people around the office. It was just busy work, but it was the only thing about him that his mother seemed to appreciate, and she made it well known to all of her workers that she was “sooooo proud” or “ecstatic” that he was interning there twice a week. The moment they got home, though, it was back to their old ways, and Sabrina would disappear into her office, briefly emerging to have some dinner or yell at Boone. Then she’d go back into her office, and when Shannon arrived home late at night, she would emerge again, claiming that she had been waiting for Shannon to come home, and yell at her until Shannon started crying. “You win,” she’d always scream at her stepmother before running upstairs seeking Boone’s solace. And while the rest of his junior year in high school blurred together, these little moments with Shannon were the only parts he really remembered.

“Boone,” Boone stirred when he heard a voice next to his bed. “Boone,” she said again, putting something in front of his nose. “Wake up and smell the coffee.” He sat up groggily, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Shannon?” The first thing he saw that morning was a fuzzy image of Shannon, standing in the dark holding a cup of coffee in front of him.

“Yeah, here’s some coffee, Sabitcha says we have to leave in 25 minutes. She’s yelling,” Shannon warned.

“What time is it?” He asked, curling back up on the bed.

“I don’t know, like 5:30 AM.” She said. “Our flight’s not even until eleven, we’re going to have so much time with nothing to do.” It was June 20th, about a week after school got out, and the morning before their flight. As if this hour even qualified as morning, he thought crudely. “Come on, get your lazy ass out of bed.” Boone didn’t move. Shannon ripped the sheets away from him, and Boone, in his delirium, thought that it meant Shannon was going to jump him, but unfortunately, she didn’t. She did slap him in a not-so appropriate place though. “Get up, asshole.” She said, and receded, leaving the room.

Boone crawled out of bed, dragging himself and a change of clothes to the bathroom, where he jumped in the shower and let the cold water wash over him, letting it wake him up. After washing himself, he stepped out of the shower, putting a towel around his waist. Then, he heard a knock on the door, but before he could say anything, Shannon barged in. “Hi,” she said, seeming to not notice that he was naked except for a small towel. She stepped towards the mirror and took a mascara out of the drawer by the sink and started putting it on. Excruciatingly slowly, of course.

“Shannon – “

“Oh, finish whatever you were doing,” again, she seemed not to notice that he wasn’t wearing clothes.

“Shannon – “

“Yes, I packed mouthwash,” she responded. Boone sighed in frustration and waddled out of the bathroom, trying desperately to keep the towel on, carry his clothes, and walk into his bedroom at the same time. “If it means that much to you, I’ll let you bring the mouthwash!” She called after him. Either she was really stupid, or she really liked to tease him.

“I cannot believe we have over an hour until boarding,” Shannon said to Boone, who was sitting on one of the chairs by their gate. “I mean, there is absolutely no reason why we should get to the airport like 3 hours early! She’s so dumb, I think she even typed out an itinerary and even put the exact times on it,” Shannon flipped a page of her Seventeen magazine in frustration.

“Be quiet, Shan, she’s coming back from the bathroom.” Instead of shutting up, Shannon switched her position and leaned against the side rest of the chair, laying her legs across Boone’s lap, still engrossed in her magazine.

“This is going to be great – watch this, she’s going to freak.” Shannon said quietly.

“Shannon – “ Boone tried to argue, but it was no use.

“Hey Sabrina,” said Shannon casually as Sabrina sat across from, opening her mouth to speak, but Shannon got there first. “What do you think of these shoes?” Shannon opened the magazine to a page that displayed a large picture of a stiletto boot that was mercilessly tacky, Boone noticed. He could imagine Anna wearing them.

“Shannon get your legs off of Boone’s lap this instant,” Sabrina looked humiliated and livid.

“That’s okay,” Shannon said lazily, “I’m comfortable. I’m not bothering anyone, am I bothering you, Boone?”

“No,” he said truthfully. Sure, she was distracting him, but bothering him? Never.

“I am not asking your permission, Shannon. Now move.”

“Oh my god, Sabrina, what is the big deal? I’m not like molesting him or anything.” Boone bit back a laugh with difficulty.

“Shannon!” Sabrina raised her voice, catching the attention of a few bystanders. “Listen to me!” Just then, as if on cue, Adam found them, holding a copy of the Economist. Shannon gave Sabrina a dirty look, making sure Adam didn’t see. “Shannon, you will quit being a brat and listen to me this instant! I am serious, you will be punished if you don’t listen to me!”

“Hey, hey,” Adam said, trying to calm Sabrina. While he did so, Shannon removed her legs from Boone’s lap. “Calm down.” Shannon put on a prize-winning pout for her father.

“I was just sitting here, and then she just pounced on me! I didn’t do anything wrong!” Shannon whined to her father.

“Sabrina, is this true?” Adam asked.

“No,” Sabrina replied, “Shannon was being insolent.”

Adam did not respond, but looked at his daughter, whose face was furrowed in concern convincingly. “Sabrina, you need to give my daughter a break, okay? She’s doing her best.” Adam sat down, opened his Economist, and began to read. Sabrina stared daggers at Shannon.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” she snapped, grabbing her purse, and stormed off. Shannon and Boone smirked at each other, trying desperately not to laugh.

“First class flight 151 to Sydney is now boarding,” said a voice over the loudspeaker. Shannon, Adam, and Boone all stood up and wheeled their bags to the line, and Sabrina arrived breathless behind them. After they gave the flight attendant their tickets, they walked towards the plane, and down the aisle, and he looked for the seat 8B. He sat down, and he could hear Shannon breathing heavily behind him. She slipped her tote bag underneath the chair in front of them, frantically sitting down next to Boone. Her toes brushed over his leg when she did so, and she reached over him, a fan of blonde hair covering her face, to open the window shade by his seat. Then she closed her eyes, breathing in and out slowly.

“It’s okay,” Boone said, smiling. “You know, cars are most dangerous than planes, and you’re not afraid of cars, are you?” Boone snuck a glance at Adam and Sabrina, who were sitting about a foot away.

“Thanks Boone, now I’m afraid of all methods of transportation.” She exhaled.

“You could always walk to Sydney, I suppose.” Boone said facetiously.

“Only if you come with me,” she opened her eyes, and smiled. “You have my inhalers?” She asked, reaching for his carry-on next to his feet. She picked it up, put it in her lap, and started going through the pockets. “Not here,” she noted, haphazardly placing it back next to him. She reached into the pocket of his zip-up sweatshirt, and Boone could feel her nails clawing at his skin through his shirt as she searched through the pocket, where the inhaler was not to be found. “Where is it?” She panicked.

“It’s in my other pocket,” He said, motioning to the other pocket on his sweatshirt.

“Okay,” she didn’t reach into this pocket, though.

Shannon and Boone waited for the rest of the people to board the plane, and as the plane started coasting on the runway. “Shit,” Shannon swore, grabbing onto Boone’s wrist and digging her fingers into him, hard. It hurt, but Boone enjoyed any physical contact they could get. The memory of the night when they had kissed popped into his mind, and he shuddered, staring intently at his hand. As the plane gained altitude, Shannon’s death grip loosened, until finally, her hand was just loosely loped around his wrist.

The rest of the plane ride passed in long, boring spurts. Shannon asleep on his shoulder, Shannon getting up to go to the bathroom, giving him a nice view of her legs, Shannon refusing to eat airplane food, Shannon asking Boone which swimsuits he liked in her magazine, and Shannon asleep on his shoulder again. Eventually, Boone began to nod off as well, dozing off against her.

When the seemingly endless plane ride did, in fact, land, Shannon stretched, moving away from him. “We’re in Australia!” She exclaimed, excited.

“I know,” he smiled at his sister’s enthusiasm.

“I’m going to love it here,” she said as they took their bags and walked down the aisle of the plane. After they had gone to baggage claim, Shannon had dumped all but one of her bags on Boone, and was still babbling about all of the sites she wanted to see and all of the places she wanted to go until they got outside. “Fuck!” She yelled, and Sabrina glared at Shannon.

“Shannon,” Adam scolded.

“Nobody told me it was going to be cold!” She shivered upon realization that it was less than 50 degrees.

“We’re in the Southern hemisphere, Shan,” Boone explained. “It’s winter here.”

“Are you kidding me?” Her mouth widened in surprise. “You are fucking kidding me.”

“Shannon! Stop swearing, you sound so crude!” Sabrina said shrilly.

“I didn’t pack anything warm,” Shannon ignored Sabrina. “Oh my god, Boone, what are we going to do?”

“I guess we’ll have to go,” he said the next word as if it were the most foul cuss word in the English language. “Shopping.”

“I guess,” Shannon said. “How about tomorrow?”

“No,” Sabrina said instantly. “Tomorrow we’re going to a nice restaurant for brunch. It has a view of the opera house.”

“And what am I supposed to wear? Shorts and a tank top?” Shannon asked.

“Come on,” Boone said to his mother. “We can eat there another day.”

“The plan isn’t set in stone,” Adam agreed. “Why don’t we just explore the city tomorrow? Besides, you have a meeting in the afternoon.”

“Fine,” spat Sabrina. “Ruin the plans.” Just then, their taxi arrived, and Sabrina sat in the front, and Adam, Boone, and Shannon piled into the back. The cab was cramped, so Shannon was squished up against him. She looked so cute and small curled up like that, and Boone couldn’t help himself from flirting with her, even in the presence of their parents.

“You’re really cold, aren’t you?” He asked. She nodded. “Your toes are practically blue,” he noted, as she had her legs pulled up against her chest, trying to warm herself in her airy tank top and shorts. He took her left foot and removed her flip-flop. She giggled, and Sabrina looked forward stubbornly. Adam, as usual, didn’t really notice, as he was deep in conversation with the driver.

“Could you give me a foot massage?” She asked, and he gladly obliged. As he did so, he looked out the window and took in the scenery outside of his window. So far, the city didn’t look all that exotic – in fact, in looked a lot like San Francisco, where he had been quite a few times.

“What’s our hotel called again?” Shannon asked her father. Boone pressed his fingers into theheel of her foot.

“Uh,” Adam thought. “Sydney Park Plaza Hotel, I believe.”

“Okay,” Shannon said, and switched feet for Boone to massage.

“Is that alright?” Boone asked.

“Yeah,” Shannon said flippantly, and stared out the window as well.

“So, where are you guys from?” Asked the taxi driver, a young man with bleach-blonde hair, in an impeccable Australian accent.

“We’re in the vicinity of Los Angeles, California,” Sabrina made sure to insert as many syllables into her words to make them sound fancier, Boone noticed.

“Malibu,” Shannon specified, “But in the summer we sometimes stay closer to San Diego. Have you ever been to California, um…”

“Trent,” replied Trent. “No, I have not been to California, but I’ve been to the East Coast.” He smiled at Shannon. “Is this your first time to Australia?”

“Yeah,” said Boone, but it turned out that Adam had been there on business before, and he began to talk to the driver, so Boone tuned out the conversation, concentrating on kneading into the sole of Shannon’s foot.

“That feels really good,” Shannon said quietly. Sabrina tossed them a death glare, so Boone pulled his hands away, handing her back her flip-flops. “Oh my god!” She suddenly screeched. “It’s the bridge! Look, Dad, Boone!” She did not address Sabrina, and they all looked out the window. “And look at the water!” Even in the dark, the water reflected clear and blue. “It’s so blue!”

“We’re actually passing the Circular Quay right now, it’s one of Sydney’s main ports for ferries,” said the taxi driver.

“Do you know what the weather is going to be like for the next few days?” Shannon asked.

“Well, it should be pretty crisp,” Trent replied. “It’s summer in the US right now, is it?”

“Yeah,” Shannon answered. “I accidentally packed all summer clothes.”

“Well, it’s warm year-round up north in Queensland. Are you guys going to the barrier reef while you’re here?”

“No, I’m here for work,” Sabrina said coldly. “There isn’t time for a separate plane ride up there.”

Shannon pouted. “I wanted to go there. What if Boone and I take a side trip up there?”

Adam laughed. “I don’t think you’re step-mother is going to allow that. And frankly, neither will I.”

“Maybe you can come with us, then!” Shannon begged her father. “Just for a few days!”

“Well,” reasoned Adam.

“The airfares will be outrageous!” Sabrina cut in. “We have plans, we have an itinerary, we’re not going to change it, and that is final, Shannon.”

“Dad…” Shannon whined. She elbowed Boone, trying to get him to stand up for her.

“Um,” Boone said out loud. “That way you’ll have more time to work with less distraction.”

Just then, Trent pulled into the hotel driveway. “Here we are,” he said. “That will be $50. Australian dollars, of course.” Adam paid Trent, who helped them with their bags, but Sabrina had already stormed inside to check in.

“Wonder what’s wrong with your mom,” Shannon wondered. Boone looked towards the lobby.

“I don’t know,” he said. “Hope she’s okay.” Shannon changed the subject.

“Damn, that flight was long,” she complained, pulling her cell phone out of the pocket of her short denim shorts. “Anna called.” She noted, checking her messages. She listened to the voicemail. “She says she misses being your girlfriend. And that drummers aren't very good in bed.”

“Great,” Boone said sarcastically, never surprised at Anna's audacity.

“Oh, and here’s another from my friend, Gabe.” She said slowly, and Boone knew that she was teasing him. He still couldn’t help but twinge with jealously. Shannon laughed as she listened to the voicemail. “He’s so funny,” Shannon smiled as she closed her cell phone. “Oh, don’t worry, big brother, I promise that you’re funnier.” She touched him lightly on the arm, and scampered towards the hotel lobby. “Funnier looking,” she added. “Take my bag, will you?”

“No,” he said, but she was already inside, so, sighing, he carried her bag inside for her.

Chapter 17

Over the next few days, Sabrina was a slave driver – forcing Shannon, Boone, and Adam to numerous museums, aquariums, and shows, most of which she did not actually attend. She was so intent on keeping Boone and Shannon out of trouble that she crammed their days so full that by the evening they had no desire whatsoever to sneak out or do anything. Still, Shannon loved Australia, although the Italian opera at the Sydney Opera House was a low point, and she claimed that she was going to move to Australia when she was older, or at least live there for a while. Shannon was still eager about going to Queensland, where it was warm, and they could go to beaches and swim and snorkel at the Great Barrier Reef. And somehow, she swindled her father into convincing Sabrina to take them there for four days, and then they would travel home straight from the Cairns Airport, while Sabrina would go on a separate plane. Sabrina wasn’t happy about this decision, and Boone could tell every time they ate together or went on an excursion – the piercing looks she was constantly giving her were a subtle hint of Sabrina’s feelings about the matter.

“Boone,” Shannon said to him as they got ready for bed in their hotel room separate from Adam’s two nights before they were set to depart Australia. She was currently changing into her pajamas, thoughtlessly peeling off her banana yellow tank top and going through her bag for a pajama top. Since Boone tended to overanalyze everything, he was actually disappointed that she changed in front of him – it meant that she was so comfortable around him, she didn’t care what he thought. Even though that was probably why she was okay with him seeing her in a bra, it was still quite difficult for Boone to draw his eyes away from her bare stomach and cleavage. It wasn’t any different than seeing her in a swimsuit, which he had many times, but there was something a little more personal about this for some reason.

“Yeah?” He answered, looking out the window determinately, where they had a view of an expansive beach. He could hear the tropical blue waters crashing against the surf, which was soothing and had lulled him to sleep the past three nights.

“You know that club we passed after dinner tonight?” That day, they had gone on a snorkeling excursion in the Great Barrier Reef, which had left them exhausted, sated, and salty, and Adam had gone back to the hotel, much more lax about parental supervision than Sabrina. Shannon located a large t-shirt to wear over her underwear and put it on, climbing under the covers.

“Yeah.” Boone followed suit, climbing under the covers of his bed, and clicked off the lights.

“Well, I was thinking that tomorrow night we could go.”

“Adam would never let us,” Boone thought aloud, though the idea of him and Shannon in a club alone together, possibly drunk, sounded quite appealing.

“He doesn’t need to know…” Shannon said, her voice carrying a slightly suggestive waver.

“I guess not,” he answered.

“Good.” Shannon said, and turned over. Within minutes, he could hear her breath equalize, clearly asleep.

Holy fucking shit, Boone thought when Shannon came out of the bathroom the next night at about ten PM. “Holy fucking shit,” he accidentally said aloud.

Shannon smirked, but Boone didn’t care. Damn, he had never seen her look so hot in his entire life. Her “shirt” was less of a shirt and more of a piece of fabric draping over necessary areas, and was turquoise, his favorite color on her. It was backless, and had a neckline that plunged almost to her belly button, and it gathered at the base of her stomach, displaying midriff as well. The amount of cleavage she exposed qualified somewhere between audacious and naked. Her skirt was black leather that was about three inches long, and it barely even covered her ass. “You like?” She asked.

“Uh…” Boone could barely string together an intelligible sentence. “Uh… fuck… you look… yeah…”

“You look nice, too,” she said. “I like your jeans.”

“Thanks,” he said, having recovered slightly. “So, how are we going to get into this club?” Shannon held up two cards. “Tonight, we are Marisa Farley and Matt Geller – aged 21 and 23.”

“Oh my god,” he said in disbelief. Shannon put one of the cards into Boone’s hand.

“You ready to get crunk?” She exclaimed. Boone wasn’t sure what this meant, but he played cool, and pretended he did.

“Should I be afraid?” He asked, opening the hotel door, and letting her go through first.

“Be afraid, be very afraid,” she winked.

When they got to the club, the party was already in full swing. Shannon immediately sat at the bar, and Boone followed suit. They ordered drinks for themselves, and Boone was already feeling the side effects after his first shot… more so after his second, third, and fourth. When an older, leering man approached Shannon and started hitting on her, Boone was able to say with a straight face, “Stay away from my girl, man.” And Shannon didn’t argue.

“Wanna dance?” She shouted over the din of the loud rap music behind them. Boone’s head spun, and it wasn’t just the alcohol – did Shannon have feelings for him, too? What the hell, he thought, feeling reckless, and finished another shot.

“Sure,” he agreed. They walked towards the dance floor, and Shannon immediately faced her back towards him, and started grinding against him. He could feel her hips moving slightly against his, and, in his drunkenness, he didn’t hesitate before placing his hands on her thighs, feeling the fabric of her skirt between her fingers. She grinded against him with more vehemence, leaning back into his shoulder, and before he knew it, he had dispelled all thoughts of you can’t freak with her sister out of his head, and started nuzzling into her neck, as she rolled her hips against him. He moved his hands up, letting his hands graze over her ass.

“Boone,” she slurred a little, and turned around so that she was facing him. She put her arms over his shoulders, and he did the same, pressing their bodies up against each other so that he could feel the soft curve of her breasts through her thin shirt against his chest. Their hips matched up, and they moved to the rhythm of whatever crappy has-been hit played over the speakers, daring to burst the eardrums of everyone in the club. They continued this for two more intoxicating songs, until they were each swept away by other people, and Boone blinked, suddenly finding himself freaking with a woman who was at least twenty-five. Boone pulled away in fright, wondered where Shannon was, but ended up weaving towards a random booth, sitting down, and ordering, against his better judgment, another hard drink. He drank it alone, incredibly worried about his sister, but was too wasted to do anything about it. Suddenly she appeared in front of him, and finished off the rest of his drink. She crawled into his lap, sweaty and panting from dancing. Boone could not think.

She was facing him now, her legs spread out to either side of him. Their faces practically matched, and although her words, we’re never making out again, that she had told him the morning after she told him about her mother, spun through his head, other more hormonal thoughts overpowered this. That’s why he wasn’t very surprised when he found that they were kissing ferociously, and that her tongue was snaking inside of his mouth again, except this time she wasn’t crying, and she buried her hands deep into his hair. She sighed, and he let himself become lost in the moment as well, kissing back just as passionately as she was kissing him. This was Shannon, he thought, a thought both dangerous and thrilling. He circled his arms tightly around her waist, rubbing up and down her back as her hands strayed underneath his shirt.

“Get a room, kids,” a cynical looking woman, also American, said callously. Boone wondered what she was doing in a club like this.

Boone pulled away from Shannon, who ignored the lady, still attacking his neck with kisses… like she was in love with him or something. Either that or just really drunk. But he silently begged for the first option. “Sorry,” he told the lady, “Let me just…” Shannon stood him up, leading him back to the dance floor. They danced some more, well, it was actually more like making out with occasional hip movements that made what they were doing qualify as dancing, and Boone was completely delirious to finally have, if just for one evening, the girl who we was in love with. These kinds of kisses they were sharing weren’t meaningless kisses. These kisses were so strong and hard and searching that he could imagine that they were on their honeymoon, or that this was the passionate reunion of two long-lost lovers – they weren’t just stepsiblings looking for a quick and easy way to get rid of teenage hormones. He knew he was in love with his sister, and he knew that he wasn’t just fabricating it in his own mind when he felt a spark, a magnetism that he was positive Shannon felt too, between them.

This spark was probably what caused them to be standing by the street, desperately hanging onto each other for support, hailing a cab five minutes later. They piled into the taxi, giggling and moaning as they continued to kiss, breaking the kiss to quickly slur the name of their hotel to the driver. They returned to making out, and he let his hands brush over her stomach, press into her hips, and stray even further to her breasts, caressing them through what little clothing lay there. Boone had waited practically his whole life to do this, but the moans of satisfaction she made when he did this made it well worth the wait. Even though feeling her up in the back of a cab wasn’t especially glamorous.

“You kids American?” Asked the taxi driver, and Shannon pulled away from him for as short a time as possible.

“Yeah,” she answered breathlessly, and went back to kissing Boone, brushing her hands over the fly of his jeans. Boone shuddered, but Shannon just giggled in response to his anguish. Typical Shannon. Suddenly, Boone was petrified. This was Shannon, the girl of his fucking dreams, here! What if he was doing something wrong? He wasn’t moving at all, and she was clearly becoming impatient. Think of Anna, he thought, what would you do if this were Anna? He kissed her again, leaning over her so he could reach under her shirt more easily. When he felt her up again, she moaned, and Boone felt a rush of victory – so far, he was winning their silent competition. But Shannon wasn’t taking defeat so well, and was pushing third base on him – in a taxi cab, Boone thought, quickly eyeing the taxi driver, who had a bored expression on his face. But Boone was still too afraid to touch any more of her then he already had, what if she reacted badly? Then she would think he was a dirty pervert for the rest of their lives.

The driver coughed. “That’ll be $10,” he hinted. Shannon reached into his pocket for a $10 bill, and she shoved it in the driver’s face.

Five minutes later, they were all over each other in the elevator, Boone still on cloud nine as he slipped his hand underneath the neckline of her shirt. He couldn’t get over how perfect her skin was, and how quickly she reacted to the placement of his hand. Shannon jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist, and kissed him more, their tongues now becoming familiar with each other. “Oh my god,” she giggled. The elevator made a small ding, reminding them that reality did, in fact, exist, and they broke away, walking down the hall to their room. Boone located the card key in his pocket, but Shannon grabbed it from his hands. Ever since she was a kid, she had had an odd fascination with card keys. When the key was accepted, she opened the door, and pushed him against the wall before he knew what she was doing. They fell deeper into another kiss, his tongue pressing into Shannon’s, and his hands roaming all over her body. She seemed to have her hands quite centered around his crotch, as she expertly unbuttoned the top button on his jeans. He exhaled slowly, returning to the kiss only for a brief moment to untie the back of her shirt. It quickly fell to the ground, and then her top half was completely naked. He didn’t want to leer, though, so he somehow managed to keep his eyes on her face… mostly. She started to unbutton his shirt, and with the first button, Boone was elated, but after the second and the third, the reality of what they were about to do started to sink in, and the great passion they had felt minutes ago began to morph into a gnawing feeling of guilt and impending regret.

“Boone?” Shannon said, like she was making sure it was him.

“Shannon,” he said, making sure of the same thing. He looked at her – she was half-naked, sweating, and looked troubled. His desire to rip off her skirt and fuck her right then was great, but… he couldn’t. This was the actual Shannon, this wasn’t Anna, who wanted to do much more with him than he did with her. This was the love of his life, and he wasn’t about to do anything she didn’t want him to do. Her expression slowly became more and more concerned… scared, even. Boone picked her shirt off the ground, and thrust it into her hands. “I’m sorry,” he told her, and climbed into his bed, shutting off the lights, without even changing into his pajamas.

The next morning, Boone was woken up by Shannon at about ten thirty. “’Morning!” She exclaimed, looking hot and tired, wearing work-out clothes.

“Uh…” He looked around, squinting. Ow.

“So, I went to the gym upstairs this morning, and then I just got back, and I realized that you weren’t awake, so I thought I’d wake you up. We have to leave for the airport in like an hour!” Shannon reached towards the bedside table, taking a huge gulp of coffee.

Boone looked at Shannon, searching for some sign of recognition on her face that last night had happened. There was a trace of something in her eyes, but it was a very distant and subtle something. “Shan, about last night…” he started.

“Want some coffee?” She interrupted breezily.

“Uh… sure,” he agreed.

“Too bad, get it yourself. I gotta go take a shower!” She practically hovered towards the bathroom. Now why the hell was she so happy? When Boone dragged himself out of bed and towards their in-room coffee maker, he got his answer. The coffee pot was completely empty. She had drunk an entire pot of coffee.

“Did you drink an entire pot of coffee?” He asked incredulously. She didn’t answer. Boone shrugged, and started another pot. Maybe it was a good idea.

Shannon and Boone were proven wrong hours later, as they tapped their feet restlessly the entire plane-ride home. And when the caffeine wore off, the effects were twice as bad as a hangover. Adam looked on, confused.

Tangled Youth

Chapter 15

Boone stood in the kitchen the next morning, not remembering why he was there. He and Shannon had only kissed for a few minutes, and he had woken up alone, but the few moments he had shared with her loomed over his head in a thick cloud that refused to disappear. And it was all he could think about.

“Good morning, sweetheart.” Sabrina looked up from her copy of the Wall Street Journal, smiling briefly at her son. “What are you doing?”

Boone looked at her, startled – he hadn’t noticed that she was there. “Uh,” he tried to think of why. He glanced at the clock, which read 7:23 AM. Of course. Breakfast. “I was just going to make myself some cereal.”

“Okay, I bought some granola yesterday,” Sabrina turned the page of her newspaper, taking a sip of coffee. “Where’s Shannon?” Boone thought he had heard her name in his head, so he tried to ignore it and took the box of granola out of a cupboard, grabbing an apple out of the fruit basket and trying to find a knife. “Boone? Where’s Shannon?”

“Huh?” Boone started, caught off guard. “I don’t know,” his voice sounded petulant.

“Why are you being rude to be, honey?” His mother asked him, her lips creating a thin, angry line.

“I’m not, I’m sorry, okay?” He began to slice his apple.

“Well you know how she sleeps through her alarm, and you usually wake her up, so I thought that – “ But Boone didn’t have to answer her, because just then, Shannon, dressed with her hair and makeup done perfectly, all signs of last night’s vulnerability completely gone.

“Sabrina,” Shannon sounded surprised to see her stepmother in the kitchen. “What are you doing here?”

“I live here, Shannon, so be civil for once and pretend you don’t hate me.” Shannon sighed, and got an orange from the fruit basket, looking at Boone for a moment. Boone didn’t look back, afraid that he wouldn’t be able to tear his eyes away. “If you two could sit down, I need to talk to you.” Boone dropped the knife he was using to cut the apple. Had Sabrina heard? Shannon rolled her eyes, sitting on a chair and putting her feet on the chair across from it. “Shannon, don’t put your feet on the furniture.” Shannon stomped her feet back to the ground begrudgingly. Boone put the apple slices into his granola, along with some milk, and took the bowl to the table, sitting next to Shannon. He glanced at her, and with the glance he remembered her crying eyes, her lips, the feel of her tongue. He remembered the story of her mother, wondering why she had insisted on keeping it to herself for so long.

“This summer, I have a big job in Sydney, Australia. It’ll be huge for the business, but it requires me to be there for a few weeks.”

“Great, we’ll be fine on our own.” Shannon said abruptly.

“Shannon,” Sabrina smiled dangerously. “I was actually thinking, that because it’ll be in the summer, that we could make it a family vacation. Of course, I wouldn’t be around all that much, andAdam is only going for a week because he has a case, but it would be fun to get a change of scenery. And I hear that Sydney’s beautiful.” Boone was extraordinarily relieved. She didn’t know.

“I’ve always wanted to go to Australia,” he said.

“Sure,” Shannon shrugged, but Boone could tell she was hiding her enthusiasm. “Whatever. When are we going?”

“June twentieth until July third,” Sabrina said.

“But that means I’ll be jet-lagged for all the July 4th parties!” Shannon argued.

“You’ll live,” Sabrina said, “We’re going, and I’m not asking your permission, Shannon.”

“Okay,” Shannon said, taken aback.

“Oh, it’s 7:30,” Sabrina looked at the clock, standing up. “I need to get to work.” Once Sabrina’s heels had clicked out of the kitchen, the silence between Shannon and Boone became tension-filled and palpable.

“So,” Boone started, “I thought that we should talk about what happened last night.” Shannon looked annoyed.

“We’re not making out again,” Shannon told him. “I don’t know howyou let it happen, but it’s not happening again,” she said decidedly.

“I… I know,” he told her. “But that actually wasn’t what I was talking about. About Camilla…”

“What about her?” Shannon asked suspiciously.

“I guess I’m just wondering why you haven’t told anyone about her. Or gone to someone or something.”

“I’m not going to any fucking shrink,” she yelled. “I’m not insane, I don’t need anyone!”

“Jesus, Shannon,” he took a bite of his granola. “Calm down.”

“You think I’m crazy?” Her voice cracked.

“No, Shannon, not just crazy people go to psychiatrists. I just thought you could use someone to talk to, or maybe your dad might have when you were younger. I mean, witnessing your mother committing suicide…”

“Don’t talk to me like you know everything about me,” she looked away, and Boone instantly felt guilty.

“I’m sorry,” he said, ashamed. “I’m sorry,” he turned her head towards his, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “I know that it’s a really sensitive issue for you, and I was wrong to mention it. I won’t do it again if you’re not comfortable about – “ Shannon shrugged away from his touch. “Sorry,” he said again, staring at his bowl of cereal.

“It’s okay,” she responded, finally after a few minutes. “You’re forgiven.” She attempted a smile.

“Just honk,” Shannon insisted from the back seat of his car.

“No, it’s rude,” he argued, his fingers creeping towards the honk button on the steering wheel. It was tempting, at 7:30 in the morning, to do so, but he had been raised for seventeen years as a polite and cautious child, so he opened the car door and got out, walking up to the van Camp’s door. He rang the bell, and after a few seconds, Anna emerged, her left shoe half on.

“Sorry,” she said breathlessly, “I was running late.” She pulled him towards her and kissed him deeply. She tasted like toothpaste, not cigarettes, this time. But it was strange, now that he and Shannon had kissed like this, Anna’s kisses didn’t feel as nice anymore. And when they walked back to the car, he noticed that she didn’t look as beautiful anymore either. “Look, Boone, I’m sorry about yesterday, too. I was being a bitch, and it won’t happen again. Smoking is stupid.” Boone agreed, but he wasn’t hearing her words. He knew now that he had to break up with her. He just didn’t know how he was going to do so.

“Anna?” Boone found her at lunch, surprisingly alone, and she looked delighted to see him. It just made him feel even worse.

“Yeah?” She answered, chipper. “You wanna go get lunch?”

“Actually,” he said. “I think we need to talk.”

Anna’s smile disappeared. “You’re really fucking clueless, aren’t you? You don’t break up with a girl during school!” She attempted a smile, but failed.

“Anna,” He said apologetically. “Let’s go somewhere more private to talk, okay?”

“Fine,” she followed him outside to the back of the school, and then stood across from him, arms crossed over her chest. “What did I do wrong?”

“N-nothing,” he stuttered.

“You’re bored of me?” She asked expectantly. Boone opened his mouth. “No? You cheating on me?”

“No,” he said, although what he and Shannon had done probably counted.

“Where were you that weekend? When your parents were gone? Why didn’t you call me to come over? I mean, most guys would be thrilled at the prospect of spending a weekend wildly fucking their girlfriends, you know?”

“Anna, I’m not cheating on you. I just think that this relationship isn’t – “

“Why didn’t you call me? What the hell, Boone? Why are you doing this to me? I love you!” She was close to tears now, and Boone had no idea what to do. “You’re such an idiot, breaking up with me at school. I mean, what kind of fucking heel does that? And why do you always push me away when I kiss you? Why don’t you want me?” She cried, randomly blabbering on, pushing Boone towards annoyance. “I know why,” she said determinately. “It’s her, and don’t you dare try to deny it. The other night, when we were in your car after the movie? You were taking off my clothes, Boone,” she reminded him, “And you want to know what you said? You said, ‘Shannon’! And I ignored you, I thought you might have just accidentally said it, but I was thinking about it yesterday when Danny gave me a ride home, and I realized that it really makes things make sense. Really fucking great, Boone!” She spat.

“Anna, stop!” He warned her. “You don’t know the first thing about me and Shannon, so –“

“I don’t know the first thing about you and Shannon,” she scoffed. “Yeah, right. I’ve been best friends with her since we were ten, and what do you know? I’ve been sleeping with you for three months, so don’t tell me I don’t know. Don’t tell me that I don’t notice that we’ll be acting perfectly normal, and then she’ll come in, and suddenly you don’t care about me anymore.” She sniffled. “What am I, some kind of lame substitute? Don’t answer that,” she held up her hand to stop him. “Where were you that weekend? What were you doing?”

“Look, Anna,” although he felt bad that he was letting her down, he also felt that Anna had crossed the line, and as anger welled up inside of him, he had no control over what came out of his mouth next. “Maybe I had more important things to do than fuck you!”

Anna choked, looking like she wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry. “You did not just say that,” she gasped. “Oh my God, Boone, you just don’t know. You just don’t fucking know.” She turned around, starting to walk away.

“That didn’t come out right!” He yelled after her. “I’m sorry!”

Anna turned around, smiling slightly. “It’s okay, Boone,” she said. “We’ll be okay.”

“You have more important things to do than fuck Anna van Camp?” Jerry, a short stoner asked. “What teenage boy has more important things to do than fuck her? She’s so fucking hella hot, dude.”

Boone looked at Jerry, frowning. “Whatever,” he took off his shirt and unzipped his pants, sliding them over his shoes with difficulty.

“I take it you broke up,” said Perry, who was tall and had dark, short hair. “What happened?”

Jerry chuckled. “I wonder,” he rolled his eyes. Just then, Kevin, who was in his PE class, appeared.

“Dude!” Kevin greeted Boone. “You really fucked up, didn’t you? More important things to do than…” he trailed off, laughing. Boone was not amused. Humiliated might be a better word to describe how he felt. “If you don’t want to fuck her, I will,” Kevin continued. God, all they cared about was sex. One of Boone’s old babysitters had told Boone that he was an adult in a little kid’s body, and it was times like these when he most agreed with her. “I’ve always kinda had a thing for her.”

“Thanks, Kevin, that’s really comforting.” But that wasn’t the worst of Boone’s embarrassment for the day.

When he arrived in the gym after changing, all of the girls in the class gawked at him. As he walked by, he heard someone whisper to a friend, “Apparently, he has more important things to do than fuck Anna van Camp. Who the hell does he think he is?”

The ride home from school was liberating – just him and Shannon again, who sat in the front this time and put her legs on the dashboard. He brushed his hand over her bare thigh when he reached over to turn on the radio, and she didn't argue. “She slept with that guy Danny last night, you know,” Shannon told him, running her hand across his arm, somewhere between sexual foreplay and feeling bad for him. They didn’t say much else for the rest of the car ride.

Cigarettes and Regrets (written for an LJ quote challenge "Where there's smoke, there's fire")

Sawyer pulled up to a run-down bar in rural Indiana, discouraged after another failed con. The woman’s name was Tara – striking red hair, tanned, shapely body, older, balding businessman for a husband who owned the entire United States sausage enterprise… and she had thrown herself at Sawyer. But her husband was an astute man, and every gray hair on his head was like another piece of knowledge he possessed. And he didn’t believe Sawyer, so Sawyer had driven away, and somehow found himself in front of this sagging wooden building, completely nondescript except for a faded neon sign that flickered “McGunn’s Bar.” Sawyer shut the door of the old pick-up truck he had acquired from some woman’s husband about a year ago. Allison? Or had it been Alicia? He couldn’t remember, no matter how deeply into his head he searched. “Screw it,” he muttered in frustration, running his hands through his sandy-blonde hair.

Sawyer walked in, lighting up a cigarette, and sat down at the counter. He had hoped for a couple of shots, maybe a game of pool, or a quick lay, but as Sawyer looked around the bar, he was disappointed. He ordered a shot of tequila, but the pool table was in use, and the only woman who caught his eye was clearly post-menopausal. A round-faced man next to Sawyer sneered, “Great. All we need ‘round here is another son of a bitch who thinks he’s god’s gift.”

Ten minutes later, the tired, sallow faced bar tender was breaking up the fight, too lethargic to care about who had started it. “You,” he growled at Sawyer. “Out.”

“Fine,” Sawyer, pulled away, his cheek slightly bruised. “Don’t need your damn bar, anyway!” And with that, he staggered outside.

Sawyer lit a cigarette, taking a deep puff from it. “Son of a bitch,” he groaned, and smoked the rest of the cigarette in relative silence, the smoke surrounding him. Looking at the sky, he remembered a time when his mother had been alive, pointing out the clear constellations as she held her young son in her lap. His mother was probably crying in the heavens, Sawyer thought savagely, if she could see him now. Looking at the butt of his cigarette, he dropped it on the ground. A tiny flame burst from the edge, and Boone looked at the building. Maybe he should just watch the damn bar burn, he thought – after all, where there was smoke, there was fire.

Sawyer stomped on the butt of the cigarette, and the flame flickered out. “Damn it to hell,” he grunted, walking away, ashamed at his own cowardice.

Please comment!  Thanks!

Tangled Youth

Chapter 13

It was late – probably around ten or eleven, Boone thought, as he sat on the couch in his father’s living room, Shannon half-asleep on his shoulder, her fine blonde hair fanned out over his chest. On the other side of the room, his father was sitting next to Susannah, speaking quietly to her. Boone watched his mannerisms subtly. Sabrina had been right, he certainly seemed to be charming Susannah out of her anger. He touched her arm, her shoulder, and finally, her cheek as he addressed her in a whisper. Boone couldn’t hear what she was saying, but he kept having disturbing flashes in his head – he could imagine his mother in the same position, sitting in front of Sam, being consoled the same way. But Boone didn’t know if this memory was real, or just a shard of his imagination.

Sam kissed his wife goodnight, and she stood up, smiling, and headed towards the bedroom. Judy had driven Abigail back to the old-folks home where she lived, and Lilly, her, and Steve were staying in the guest bedroom for the night. Next to Boone, Shannon stirred, hoisting herself up against Boone’s shoulder, and he tried not to shiver when he felt her breasts brush over his arm. You have a girlfriend, he reminded himself. Yeah, but you also have a sister, the other part of his brain argued.

Sam sat in the chair across from Boone’s spot on the couch. There was an invisible barrier between them – seventeen years of separate lives, but their feet shared the same carpet and the same genes. “I thought we could talk for a while,” Sam said, looking at Shannon next to him.

“Yeah,” Boone agreed, eager to finally get an insight about his father.

“So,” Sam started, “What has Sabrina said about me?”

“Nothing,” Boone said truthfully. “She won’t talk about you.”

“How’d you find me?”

“I think that my stepfather, her dad,” he gestured towards Shannon, who sighed. “I think he might have put the address somewhere where he knew I’d find you.”

“Oh,” Sam nodded. “Interesting.”

“What happened with you and my mother?” Boone blurted out, right as Shannon stretched out her legs and used his lap as her pillow.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked.

“I mean, like… why won’t she talk about you? Why haven’t you tried to find me? You knew about me, right?”

“Yeah, I did,” Sam looked down. “Your mother and I met when she was taking one of my classes – over the summer, to get some of her college requirements over with. I was… intrigued by her determination and independence. She was a few years younger than me, but we dated for a while and then she got pregnant. You were born, and I was late to the hospital. I stayed in the hospital for a few minutes, and she was ecstatic. But then I went to the bathroom, and I thought, what am I doing? I mean, Diana was just waiting at home, she didn’t know I’d been planning to leave her, and I realized that my loyalty belonged to her, not Sabrina.”

Boone looked at the floor, all the eagerness in his face that had existed there moments ago gone. He looked up, his expression pained. “Diana?” He reported, his voice sore and bitter.

“My wife. Ex-wife.” Sam said matter-of-factly.

“You left her – in the hospital?” He choked. “She didn’t know about your… wife?” Oh my god, he thought, suddenly wishing for the warmth and consistency of his life with his mother. He wished he was young again, before he knew about all of this, before all of these complications with Shannon. He wished that he was still the four-year-old who went to Denny’s and had omelets for dinner with his mother - before she wore Armani suits every day, before her business, before everything. Now there was nothing but pity in his heart for his mother.

But the mother he was imagining was the one that had existed long ago, with the flyaway brown hair and the wide grin, not anything like the polite, business-like smile that rarely appeared on her face anymore. Now, his mother was someone else – with her blonde highlighted hair that endured a blow-out every morning from her hairstylist, her Louis Vuitton briefcase made of only the finest leather… but was it all just a determined rebellion against the man who had so suddenly abandoned her?

“I’m really sorry,” Sam’s face quivered, almost as if he was going to cry. “It was a lose-lose situation.”

“And what did – Diana,” he spat the name out as if it were a curse word, “How did your wife feel about the child support bills that came to your house every month? Or did you ever get them? You never responded, did you?”

“Boone,” his father put his head in his hands, “I’m terribly sorry. I can’t even tell you how sorry I am. But that was the past, and there’s nothing I can do about it anymore. Please forgive me,” there was a strain in his voice, a familiar strain that Boone had heard in his own voice before.

“What about your other kids?” Boone asked, his voice a little softer than it had been before. “You haven’t seen them in five years?”

“That’s a different situation,” Sam looked up, earnestly saying, “But Boone, you’re my son. You’re my son, and there’s nothing more to it. I want to know about you, I want to know about the people important to you,” He gestured towards Shannon. “I should have been around for the past sixteen years, but I wasn’t, and I wish I could change that, but I can’t. So please. Just talk to me.”

Boone paused, not sure what to say. But what did he have to lose? “Okay,” he said finally.

“Good,” Sam looked relieved. “So, tell me about yourself.”

“I’m seventeen,” he started, as if he were introducing himself. “My birthday is on November 14th, 1983. I’m a junior in high school, and I go to Catholic school, even though we’re not religious.” Boone instinctively placed his hand on Shannon’s back, and rubbed small circles between her shoulder blades. Sam looked at him, but Boone didn’t notice. “Um,” he hesitated, “Shannon, she’s a sophomore, we go to the same school, and she’s…” Boone tried to think of a word to describe her. “She’s amazing,” is what came out, and his mouth dropped open. That hadn’t been what he had meant to say.

“She seems like a very nice girl,” Sam agreed, but the expression in his eyes displayed a deeper understanding.

“When her and her dad moved in, everything changed. I mean, I was an only child one day, and then I had a sister. Everything changed when I saw her.”

Sam nodded. “You’re in love with her,” he said softly. “Aren’t you?” He didn’t say the words critically, he said them in a way that was… understanding.

Boone looked down. “Um,” he bit his lip. “Why don’t you tell me about yourself?”

“There’s not much to say,” Sam shrugged. Of course there is, Boone thought, just not anything flattering. “I’ve been teaching calculus at the community college for nineteen years, I’ve been married to Susannah for five. I’m the only person in my family who likes football. I like to read historical books.”

Boone was becoming increasingly frustrated. Was he the only one who seriously wanted something out of this relationship? He wished Shannon would wake up, because he longed to be back home in his bed, before he had this new knowledge. But maybe… maybe his father really was this simple. “Tell me about your friends,” there was a warmth in his eyes that made Boone want to tell more, though.

“I don’t have that many close friends. I have a friend named Kevin who I hang out with at school, a couple other people from camp, and Shannon.” He glanced lovingly at the peaceful girl in his lap.

“And you said you had a girlfriend?”

“Yeah,” Boone looked up. “Anna.”

“And?” Sam beckoned for Boone to elaborate.

“She’s Shannon’s best friend, actually, which is a little awkward I guess,” he began. And when we’re in bed, I pretend she’s Shannon, he added silently. More than a little awkward. “She’s gorgeous, she’s a model, actually. She’s pretty funny, and very outspoken.”

Sam nodded. “I used to date a lot of beautiful girls in my day,” He said reflectively.

“I’m sure you did,” Boone responded bitingly.

“Boone,” Shannon stirred in his lap, and she murmured, without opening her eyes, “What time is it?”

“I don’t know, let me check.” He started to stand up, but Sam took the liberties of standing up to check the clock. “11:30,” he told Boone, sitting down. “I guess it’s getting late.”

“Yeah,” Boone said, hoping that Sam would invite him back for another visit.

“You should come back to visit,” Sam said ineffectually.

“Yeah,” Boone smiled in relief, ignoring the flippant manner of his voice. “Shan, we’re going to go home now,” he said quietly to his sister.

“Can you carry me?” She asked, sounding small and helpless.

“Of course,” he agreed, even though she was pretty heavy.

“You can borrow a blanket for her,” Sam offered understandingly, locating a small blanket from a closet nearby and handing it to Boone. “Keep it as long as you want.” Boone stood up, placing a steady grip under Shannon’s thighs so that he wouldn’t drop her. He could have sworn he heard hints of a moan when he slid his hands around her hips. But the lack of a suspicious look from his father proved that it had been his imagination. He wrapped the blanket around Shannon’s shoulders and she drew it closer around herself in a stupor. “So,” he said to his father. “See you around, I guess?”

“I’ll invite you to come over sometime. Happy to see you whenever,” Sam smiled.

“Okay,” Boone wasn’t sure whether or not to hug the man, so he compromised by shaking his hand. When he reached the car, he opened the door and sat Shannon in the passenger’s seat. Walking around the front of the car towards the driver’s seat, he was shocked to see a looming figure by the dumpster, and relieved to see that it was just Sam’s sister, Judy, taking out the trash.

Judy shook her head sadly, and walked towards Boone. “Honey,” she said, her tone somewhere between apologetic and calculating – he couldn’t interpret it. “I’m sorry, but it’s just not going to happen. You’re not the first person this has happened to, you know.”

“I know,” Boone said, making a move to get into his car.

“Boone, wait,” Judy said. “I’m serious. First, there was Albert. Sam claimed he didn’t know, but we knew that he had just knocked up some slut from east LA and split. We all knew. Even my mother, but she doesn’t like to accept the fact that her son is an arrogant, irresponsible bastard, does she? No, but still, some kid comes to the door one day, and Sam claims he’s going to have a relationship with him, and we never heard from him again. I don’t know what happened.” Boone sighed, overwhelmed by this information, but Judy continued. “But I know what happened with Jessica – her mother was only sixteen, and Sam was a good ten years older… Allie was poor, and Sam promised her he would stay with her and they’d make do. But he didn’t even make it through the responsibility of having a kid, or being married, for two years. He left on Jessica’s second birthday, and the girl comes to the house about six years ago, asking for money. I was there, and I could tell there was something wrong with her – she was fifteen, running away from home, and she stayed on the couch for a week. Then Sam kicked her out, and basically paid her a bunch of money to get lost. He’s my brother, and I love him, but he’s scum.” Boone looked at her in disbelief. She could be lying, she was wrong, he argued with himself, but deep down, he knew she was right. “He’s not going to call you, Boone. I’m sorry.”

Boone nodded curtly at the woman, biting his lip, and stepped into his car, slamming the door behind him. He tried to stop the tears that were appearing in his eyes, but he couldn’t resist, and as he pulled out of the driveway, his face glistened with tears. As he drove down the street, he began to cry harder – damn, he hadn’t had a good cry in a while, and after a significant choking sob, he decided to pull over, as his tears were blurring his vision.

“Boone…” Shannon rolled over towards him, and leaned over to hug him. He hugged back, much too strong and much too long, but she didn’t seem to mind, rubbing his back slowly until he calmed down. Shannon kissed his cheek after hestopped crying, and turned over, quickly falling asleep.Even after what Judy had said, and what a flake his father seemed like, there was still a glimmer of hope that Sam would call.

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